Arby 'n' the Chief

Arby 'n' the Chief is a live action internet video series created by machinimator Jon Graham, also known as Jon CJG, about the lives of figurine versions of Master Chief and the Arbiter. It's mainly based around the two playing Halo 3, but also occasionally playing games such as Call of Duty 4 and Devil May Cry 4, whilst spending the remainder of their time pulling off shenanigans.

Background
Arby 'n' the Chief is about two Halo 2-era Action Figures of the Master Chief and the Arbiter who live in their owner, Jon Graham's, house. When Jon is at home, the figures stay put and don't move, like they should. Whenever he leaves, they start moving around, playing games, and pulling off shenanigans, similar to the Disney movie Toy Story.

Usually, the duo plays Halo 3 on Xbox Live. Although Arbiter also enjoys playing other games such as Grand Theft Auto IV, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, and Super Smash Bros. Brawl on Wii. During the fifth episode titled "Martyrdom", the Chief even played Devil May Cry 4 and tries Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, which he ends up hating more because he played horribly on them. Later on in the series, however, Chief becomes more tolerant of non-Halo games, mostly Resident Evil 5, despite joining a protest against the game itself because of its alleged racism.

Characters
Master Chief: The Master Chief is a foul-mouthed, immature and illiterate sexist who loves to trash talk other people, including his own "friends" on Xbox Live. He is most commonly seen talking in "1337 Speak" (Leet Speak), which consists of shortened words, usually with numbers in them as well. He also conveys his emotions with text emoticons, like Sad Face which appears on the subtitles as  : (. Other than the Halo games and later Grand Theft Auto 4 and Resident Evil 5, he despises any other game, especially Call of Duty 4, to which he jokingly renamed "Cock of Doody 4: Modern Gayfuckstupid". Even though Halo 3 is the only game he plays out of self-interest with the exception of playing Devil May Cry 4 once and hating it, he appears to be very bad at it, as shown whenever he plays. In fact, he hates all non-Microsoft or Bungie products, including the Wii and Mozilla Firefox, to name a few. He seems to have feelings for Cortana, and openly expresses them to the Arbiter although he starts to despise her after episode 10 ("Conflict").

Master Chief also tries to cheat people in unintelligent ways, for example, he tries to change the Call of Duty 4 disc for a chocolate chip cookie, and also he states he's drunk when he only drank a bottle of water and crudely spelled out the word Beer on the label. His only real friend is the Arbiter, who he has shown a more decent side of himself to on rare occasions. The Chief can also be extremely sensitive, such as when he is reduced to tears by Craig and his "MLG" friends. In addition, he has moral standards (that apparently do not apply to himself, only others); even he is disgusted when Scott steals Jon's wallet (from the Chief) to use his credit card to order two hundred hookers on the phone. Master Chief is voiced by Microsoft Sam.

Arbiter: The Arbiter is a friendly and intelligent character who, apart from the Chief's friends on Xbox Live, is Master Chief's only friend. When it comes to playing Halo, or any other game for that matter, the Arbiter is exceptionably good at them, as opposed to the Chief, who is terrible. He also seems to like Call of Duty 4 more than Halo 3 because it has more multiplayer maps, but his view seems to change when Halo 3's Legendary Map Pack is released. Jon Graham stated in one of his director commentary episodes that he modeled the Arbiter after himself. It was hinted in some way at the end of the episode "Girls" that the Arbiter too is attracted to Cortana (But not as much as Master Chief). Although he says he does not like beer or anything that makes him unhealthy, he begins to start drinking beer as he usually says during Season 3 and the Arby n' the Chief movie where he asks Travis for some alcohol while seeing Chief's rather lengthy and stupid machinima, but later turns away from beer, only to be tempted back by the Chief's aggravations. Although in the first three seasons he is usually depicted as rational and relatively calm, in the fourth season he is shown to also have a capability for sadness; he is genuinely despondent when he realizes that his body is falling apart and when his online girlfriend, Claire, dumps him. He is voiced by Microsoft Mike. He represents Jon Graham's opinion of gaming products.

Cortana: Cortana was first introduced at the very end of the episode "Girls". She is, like the Arbiter and Todd, smart. She is Todd's girlfriend and the love interest of Master Chief, as well as the bludgeoned-end of his sexist remarks, and possibly the love interest of the Arbiter. She is kind to the Arbiter and of course Todd, but, because of the Chief's sexist attitude and his attempts to break-up her and Todd's relationship, she resents him, mostly calling him a homophobe. She says she's a gamer once, but has never actually played the Xbox. It is revealed in Season 3, Episode 13 that Cortana, Todd, and Travis have been kidnapped by an alien that looks "suspiciously" like John's chin and then killed. All Cortana ever seemed to do throughout her time in the series is whine about the Chief. She is voiced by Microsoft Mary.

Todd: Todd is smart, kind, and somewhat cowardly. He is Cortana's boyfriend and, along with Travis, was introduced in the middle of the episode "Newcomers". Not much can be said about him since he hardly ever had any parts in the series and mysteriously disappeared at the end of the episode "Conflict (Part 2 of 2)" along with Travis. He is a more up-to-date Master Chief mini-figure and is voiced by Jon Graham.

Travis: Travis is much like the Chief. They are both unintelligent and enjoy doing simple and stupid things. Travis is a Brute Chieftain figurine who was introduced in the middle of the episode "Newcomers", along with Todd. He is into adult pleasures. For example, as soon as Cortana and the Arbiter met him, he asked if they had any beer. Also while he was looking at Lolcats.com on the Internet with Master Chief, he asked if they had any porn on the computer. He mysteriously disappeared at the end of "Conflict (part 2 of 2)", along with Todd. He is also voiced by Jon Graham.

Scott: Scott is an online hacker introduced in "Endgame", the series' final season. He has also dealt cocaine for sixteen years between Canada and Russia, leading to his pursuit by Agent Smirnoff of Russia, whose government has sentenced him to 37 death sentences. Due to his inability to pay rent for an apartment of his own, Jon gives Scott a room in his apartment in exchange for half the rent payments. He is possibly even viler than the Chief; according to the Arbiter, "all he ever does is masturbate and smoke cigarettes, usually at the same time." He has also used Jon's credit card to order hookers on the phone, and is almost always extremely high to the extent that the Chief and Arbiter don't even have to hide from him, as he considers them hallucinations which appear after "his fourth cocaine sandwich". In episode 5 of the Endgame series, Scott is shown hacking Halo 3 and afterward is revealed to be the hacker who is untracable, even by Bungie. After being confronted by Chief and the Arbiter, he is shot to death by Agent Smirnoff, and in the last moments of his rather lengthy death sequence, he grabs a bag of his cocaine and snorts it. He is played and voiced by Jon Graham.

Agent Smirnoff: Agent Smirnoff a Communist Russian Special Agent who is in search of Scott, the hacking crackhead. While arresting Scott in the woods he is distracted by Scott, who throws cocaine in his face, temporarily blinding him. Master Chief and the Arbiter call him after learning that Scott is the hacker he his looking for. In the last episode of the series, Agent Smirnoff shoots Scott several times, twice through the head and more in the chest. He is played and voiced by Daniel Lazslo.

Claire: Claire is the Arbiter's girlfriend, introduced in Endgame. The Arbiter meets her in a Halo 3 match, but does not tell her his real name in fear that she will reject him as a perceived Halo 3 fanatic. Instead he tells her his name is Jon, and they instant message on MSN. Their relationship abruptly ends when the Arbiter lets slip that his name is not actually Jon, and that Jon is his owner's name. In Endgame episode 5 Scott apparently shoots her with his LAG Spartan Laser. However, in Endgame Part Six, she finds the Arbiter on Valhalla and forgives him, saying that how he saved Xbox Live was brave. Upon learning of their plight with rent, she generously offers the spare room in her apartment in California to them. When they arrive in the beginning of Arby 'n' the Chief in LA, she has apparently started a relationship with Jon. She is voiced by Jon Graham.

Due to limited screentime, Claire does not have a very definite personality. She enjoys watching the waves on Last Resort, saying that they are very soothing. The Arbiter, however, only agreed with her to "go with the flow," and said that the date they had watching the waves sucked.

Master Chief Sucks at Halo
Jon's Halo 2 Master Chief Action Figure comes to life, and begins playing the Halo 3 Beta. He plays extremely badly, partially because of his unfamiliarity with the new features of Halo 3, but mainly because of his total lack of video gaming talent.

Eventually, we find him asking The Arbiter to play Halo 3 Beta with him on MSN. However, the beta has been concluded, prompting the Chief to try and drown himself in the toilet. When the suicide attempt fails (because he is wearing a helmet), he decides to play Halo 2 on Xbox Live. He quickly gets booted for offensive behavior, which includes betraying teammates for power weapons. Afterward, he decides to check out Bungie.net for updates on Halo 3, and discovers that the game's release date has been announced for Tuesday 25th September 2007.

In the final episode, we find him under the Halo 3 Legendary Edition Helmet. He comments on how a man on the internet lied to him by telling him that "wearing this helmet does not make you pleh better". He proceeds to play Halo 3. After a bad display of gameplay, he takes a Sniper Rifle and gets a headshot while jumping. He thinks he has become the best Halo 3 player in the history of the world, and decides to make a Halo 3 montage. After 7 weeks, and with assistance from the Arbiter, he finally completes his "masterpiece".

Episode 1: "Pilot"

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Master Chief has a dream in which he saves the day and wins a Halo 3 online match, additionally receiving a prize from Bungie, which included one billion dollars and infinitely many girlfriends. His dream ends (with a bottle of Captain Morgan rum) abruptly when he gets a rude awakening by a ringing phone.

The man on the line asks about a package delivery for Jon. The Chief impersonates Jon and receives the package from the delivery man (who himself is played by Jon), who then asks him to sign some forms. The Chief signs the forms, writing, "Mastur cheef". When the delivery man leaves, Master Chief ponders what the contents of the package are. He soon cowers before the contained Arbiter, who was bought in an E-bay auction.

The Master Chief is soon interrupted (while playing Halo 3 Matchmaking) by the Arbiter, who escapes from his packaging and promptly overpowers a knife-wielding Master Chief. The Arbiter demonstrates superior intelligence and greater gaming skills than that of Master Chief. The two have multiple arguments, particularly on subjects such as the Arbiter's opinion on the Heroic Map Pack and whether or not grenade spamming is a valid tactic. The Chief becomes irritated, rewording the Arbiter's replies and turning them into lewd jokes and mom jokes. He proceeds to thrash the Arbiter with a frying pan when the Arbiter comments that "This is the beginning of a great relationship." The episode ends with Master Chief giving off his trademark "Lololololololol".

Episode 2: "Recon"

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Chief recalls the argument in episode one after noticing that Bungie has posted a sarcastic link to the video on their home page. Chief fails to spot this sarcasm, prompting the Arbiter to comment on his stupidity and remark that he should "try reading a book one of these days". This is an obvious reference to a YouTube user who had the same argument.

Master Chief has improvised a top secret plan to obtain the Recon Armor Permutation from Bungie Studios. He reluctantly agrees to reveal his method to the Arbiter, who is impressed by it's complexity, although he notes that the requirements, which include a magnifying glass the size of Redmond, a team of invisible ninjas, and the Batmobile, "are somewhat out of reach". As the Chief sulks, Arbiter comforts him, suggesting that he write an email to Bungie.

The Chief follows the Arbiter's recommendation. The contents of his email, however, consist of a single sentence: "can I has recon plz". The "Z" is repeated many times -- the Chief held the "Z" key down for about five minutes. Upon reading the message, the Arbiter offers to type an email for the Chief. Master Chief accepts, recommending that the Arbiter claim to have "super cancer" -- a reference to users that request Recon from Bungie under the premise that they have a debilitating illness. The audience is left with a cliffhanger regarding Bungie's response.

Episode 3: "Attitude"

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Amazingly, Chief received the Recon Armor. He proceeds to brag about his new armor to other players. The Arbiter makes a futile attempt to inform the Master Chief that no one cares; this angers the Chief, who throws the Xbox 360 controller in response.

The Master Chief then finds the Arbiter's copy of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. He takes the game into the bathroom, breaks the disc, and unsuccessfully tries to flush the fragments down the toilet. He then attempts to hide his guilt, replacing the game with a poorly-drawn case containing a cookie with a hole in the middle. The Arbiter comments that the cookie would "probably ruin the 360", before buying a replacement copy and forcing the Chief to unclog the toilet.

Episode 4: "Melee"

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The Arbiter is building levels in Forge, while the Chief pretends to be drunk on bottled water. The Arbiter challenges him to a one-on-one game. The Chief accepts the challenge; during the match, the Arbiter uses a melee to get a kill that should have been the Chief's.

The Chief, angered at his loss and his lowered rank, almost sends an angry message to Bungie. The Arbiter convinces him not to, and tells him to chill out. He then asks Chief why he even cares about his rank, noting that the Chief is terrible at the game anyway, and has a poor kill/death ratio.

Episode 5: "Martyrdom"

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The Chief proceeds to play Halo 3 Matchmaking while simultaneously attempting to download 714GB of pornography. Angered at the resulting and quite foreseeable lag, he tries playing Devil May Cry 4. This shocks the Arbiter, as the Chief only plays Halo 3 and hates all other games. The Chief soon gets frustrated at this game as well (due to his inability to defeat Berial, the second boss), prompting the Arbiter to play Call of Duty 4. The Arbiter cancels the Chief's download, which makes him mad.

To cheer Chief up, Arbiter offers him a go on Call of Duty 4. Chief tries making his own class, but wants to know what 'Martyrdom' is. The Arbiter explains that it is, in his opinion, a poor and overused game mechanic. Chief activates it anyway. He starts the match and, unsurprisingly, does terribly, firing at random and grenade spamming. He is quickly killed, but a notification alerts him that the Martyrdom perk killed another player, unlocking the first Martyrdom challenge. The Arbiter then gives the Master Chief the game's instruction booklet, but the Chief ignores it and restarts his porn download. The Arbiter throws a tissue-box at him in frustration.

Episode 6: "Brawl"

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The Chief is trying to reach an Easter Egg (the "Half-Naked Guy") in Halo 3, with some help from the Arbiter. They believe that there is a hidden section of level past a nearly-impassable pitfall. The Arbiter makes an unsuccessful attempt at grenade jumping, eliciting laughter from the Chief. The Chief then attempts the same, but doesn't even manage to throw a grenade. The Arbiter mocks the Chief, who replies with mom jokes.

The Arbiter then comes up with an idea: the Arbiter will run and jump, while the Chief will fire a rocket at his feet. The two attempt the plan, but the Chief fires a rocket directly at the Arbiter's back while laughing hysterically. The Arbiter asks why he did that and the Chief responds by saying that his "roflcopter" goes "SOI SOI SOI SOI". This makes the Arbiter get up and throw down his controller.

The Chief stops Arbiter and asks him for a hug. Arbiter is at first confused by this show of affection by the Chief, who asks "Where is the love?", but eventually hugs him, with the Chief reassuring him that it is all going to be okay. Arbiter admits that he is very uncomfortable. The Arbiter tells Chief he is proud of him being loving and walks off with a sign Chief put on his back during the hug. The sign reads "IM STUPED".

The Arbiter decides to play Super Smash Brothers Brawl. This annoys the Chief, who utters some mom jokes and refers to the game as "stupid barbie polly pocket hello kitty meow barney brothers brawl". The Arbiter asks Chief to change the TV to video three, but the Chief has no idea how to do it, so the Arbiter does it himself.

The Chief decides to broaden his horizons and tells Arbiter that he wants to play too. Arbiter plays as Wolf, and tells Chief to pick his character. The Chief asks why the Master Chief is not available as a character. Arbiter explains that only Nintendo characters appear, with the exceptions of Solid Snake and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Chief retorts that "Mastar Cheef is "a pretty cool guy eh kills aleins and doesnt afraid of anythign." Arbiter tells Chief his sentence did not make any sense, to which Chief quickly responds, "neethar dos ur face." Chief decides to pick Samus because he thinks the character somewhat looks like Master Chief. Arbiter informs Chief that Samus is a girl, which greatly surprises Chief. Chief exclaims "HAWT" and asks Arbiter if she has boobs. Arbiter says most likely; the Chief decides to ask for a high five to celebrate Samus having breasts. Arbiter refuses to engage in the celebration, which angers Chief because he is left hanging. This causes Arbiter to ask what is wrong with Chief, and if the Chief is high. Chief responds that he is high on life.

They begin the match, and Chief asks how he shoots his laser beam. Arbiter tells him to press B, the red button. Chief exclaims that the Nintendo GameCube controller is colorful like Lego. Chief charges his Power Beam and fires it at Arbiter, who easily deflects it back at Chief, killing him. Chief exclaims "HOLY SHIT!! HAX!!!!" It is revealed that Chief sucks at Super Smash Bros., like he does at all games. This angers Chief incredibly, and he proclaims his hate for the game. After saying that Halo 3 is the best game ever, Chief decides to watch cheap porn. Soon after, the Arbiter finds the sign on his back, causing Chief to start his roflcopter again and yell "SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI".

Episode 7: "Girls"

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Chief begins to harass female players on Halo 3 Matchmaking, finding particular enjoyment in the trolling of a player who wears pink armor. The Arbiter soon notices a package near the Chief, and asks what they are. He mistakenly identifies the contained condoms as "secks balloonz". His methods of "pickign up hawt chixxx", which include spraying himself with an entire can of TAG body spray and "inflating" his "seckz bal00ns", cause the Arbiter to ask the Chief if he is retarded. After finding the Chief chatting with a girl on internet with a condom threaded over his torso, Arbiter decides that he'll teach Chief how to appropriately behave around girls, even if it kills him.

After harsh teaching from Arbiter, Chief confronts the same female player he has been chasing. He apologizes for his disgraceful behavior towards her, and upon receiving a nod of thanks from her, lets her play peacefully. Just after, Chief and the Arbiter discover Jon had just bought a new Cortana Action Figure. The Chief becomes infatuated with Cortana, but when talking to her, he regresses back to his original, disgraceful attitude towards females, saying "Hello. I must say: you have beautiful eyes... I M34n NIPPL3s!" The Arbiter replies, "Oh for God's Sake!".

Episode 8: "Legendary"

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The Arbiter recently downloaded the Legendary Map Pack, which he seems to enjoy much more than the Heroic Map Pack. He comments on how good the Forge Filters are, prompting the Chief to suggest that he activate every single one of them. The Arbiter notes that that would be a poor idea for gameplay, stating that "some are made entirely for machinima". He repeatedly asks Chief, "What kind of ignoramus would do that?" The Chief sits on the couch, unresponsive.

Ten minutes later, Chief has created his own map... with all the filters on. He invites his moronic friends to try out his map, and they love it. He also shows the map to the Arbiter, at which point his lack of skill is revealed to the audience.

All of the vehicles, weapons, and equipment have been placed in a single spot, which has in turn been barricaded by walls and rendered inaccessible. All of the spawn points have been concentrated in a different location. The Chief expresses his belief that a map's "c00ln3ss" is determined by the amount of Forge's budget that has been spent; in order to maximize his map's coolness, the Chief spent every last dollar.

Both the Arbiter and Cortana agree that Chief's map is "The worst piece of shit map I've ever seen in my life", provoking an offensive reply from Chief. Cortana proceeds to strike Chief with Jon's saucepan and ask the Arbiter, "You live with this douchebag?" The Arbiter offers her a high five.

Episode 9: "Newcomers"

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The Arbiter is playing Halo 3 Matchmaking with a group of extremely serious players who claim that the match "is such a big deal". While they have an explicit argument over which gamer was more serious, Chief is bashing the then-new Grand Theft Auto 4 on the internet. He makes fun of Arby's mother before noticing that another package has arrived for Jon; he wonders what its contents are. Later in the night, he hears a disturbing crash. He discovers the contents of the package have broken out. He reaches for a kitchen knife, and discovers Halo 3 Master Chief and Brute Chieftain figures. He flees, screaming, but all they wanted was food and beer.

The Arbiter gets along well with the new Master Chief, named Todd, after Todd McFarlane. Todd also introduces Travis, the Brute Chieftain, who gets on with the Chief despite Chief's complete lack of intelligence; Todd claims that Travis is similarly stupid. Cortana meets Todd, and the two appear to be instantly attracted to each other; the Chief notices and becomes angered by this.

Episode 10: "Cortana"

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While the Arbiter and Travis play Grand Theft Auto IV, with Travis making a nuisance of himself by repeatedly asking the Arbiter to do something other than missions, the Chief attempts to break up Todd and Cortana. His first plan involves phoning the police on Jon's mobile phone. He tells them that a man five inches tall (Todd) has stolen his girlfriend. The police hang up in disbelief.

Chief's second breakup attempt involves showing Cortana fake evidence of Todd cheating on her. He shows her a very poorly drawn picture of Todd and another girl. Sarcastically, Cortana comments on the authenticity of the picture, but says she can't be sure, since Todd and Chief are both Master Chief figurines. Chief comes up with one last idea: "KIL T0D".

Episode 11: "Conflict (Part 1 of 2)"

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Frustrated with the failure of his previous two plots, the Chief goes to Arbiter. He finds the Arbiter playing Grand Theft Auto IV with one of Chief's friends (along with Jeremy, an annoying gangster wannabe kid with the gamertag "xxxSmok3w33d4lyph420xxx" ("Smoke weed for life")).

The Chief tells the Arbiter that Travis and Todd are "pissign meh off 2". He moves very close to Arbiter and says he is "gon t33ch BOTH thoes asshoelz a les0n tehy wil NEVAR FORG3T". That night, Chief grabs a kitchen knife and approaches Todd and Travis. Todd wakes up to see the Chief staring at him. Travis wakes up, drunk and totally confused. Todd questions the time, and Chief simply replies, "it r tiem 2 dai, tod. tiem 2 dai." Chief then charges at Todd, swinging the knife in a violent manner while shouting, "MAI ROFLKNIEF GOEZ SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL".

Episode 12: "Conflict (Part 2 of 2)"

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Picking up right where part one left off, Master Chief closes in on Todd, preparing to plunge a kitchen knife into him. Travis tackles and pins Chief to the floor and begins battering him. Chief fakes a surrender before kicking Travis in the testicles to escape and make a second attempt to murder Todd. The two seem evenly matched, until Chief distracts Todd by pointing behind him, proclaiming, "HOLEH MUTHR OF GOD L@@K OTU ITS TEH COVERNINT".

Todd, distracted, is quickly whacked with a flying pan. The Chief comments that "TEH ROFLKNIEF DEMANDZ BLOOD TOD! C? LISEN", before commenting (in a high-pitched voice, as "the ROFLknife"), "BLUD PLZ, K THX LOL!" Just as Chief is about to finish off his adversary, the Arbiter and Cortana intervene. Todd informs the two of Chief's actions, while Travis continues to lie on the ground, writhing in pain. Arbiter and Cortana then drag Chief away for a talk.

Arbiter pins Chief to the wall and demands that he apologize to Todd and Travis for what he did. When he refuses, Cortana kicks him in the crotch, noting that "you could have seriously hurt someone". The Chief replies, "Tahts teh idea u skank!", provoking repeated kicks until he gives in and agrees to apologize. The Arbiter and Cortana take him to Todd and Travis, only to find that the Chief merely pretended to be apologetic. The Chief states, "Tod...travis...im...sry......TAHT UR SO GHEY", and is promptly dragged away again.

Later the same morning, Arbiter is playing Halo 3 online with an annoying player, who keeps "mindlessly spamming grenades into the elevator". The player displays terrible aiming skills when he is killed from the rear. The Chief appears, and takes the Arbiter's controller from him.

The two begin to argue about the Chief's new desire for Bungie Armor. Arbiter tells Chief he should be grateful for his Recon armor; the Chief replies that he does not care about Recon now, and only wants the flaming helmet. After the two finish the short argument, Cortana arrives and reveals that Todd and Travis have mysteriously disappeared. She blames the most likely culprit (Chief), who denies any involvement in their disappearance. After exchanging insults with each other, Cortana warns Chief that if he did have something to do with Todd and Travis' disappearance, he would be "very, very sorry."

When Cortana leaves, Arbiter calmly and directly asks Chief where they are. Chief still claims that it wasn't his fault, prompting the Arbiter to utter the last line in the episode: "Well, if not you...then who?"

Episode 13: "Cold"

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Jon arranges to meet someone on the phone, presumably a friend of his. He has to negotiate a place to meet on foot, as he cannot find his wallet, which holds his driver's license. After he leaves, Arbiter, Cortana and Chief instantly resume their routine. As Arbiter resumes a game, Chief begins browsing Jon's wallet. Cortana takes it back from him.

The following day, Arbiter discovers Chief sat outside panhandling, but failed terribly. When Arbiter asks him why he's trying to get money, Chief tells him he wants to get the Cold Storage map for Halo 3, unaware of the fact that it is free. When he is told by the Arbiter, Chief is very surprised that Bungie would distribute downloadable content for free.

The next morning, Chief discovers that the map has been deleted off the hard drive. The Arbiter explains it wasn't him and states that Cortana had no plans to do so. They start to think that Todd & Travis's disappearance and the deletion of the map are linked.

Episode 14: "Wedding"

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Originally the name of Episode 14 was going to be "Warped"; it was changed by Jon Graham to "Wedding".

During a game of Grifball (which the Chief and the Arbiter hate), their friend introduces them to Gregory and Sarah, who are, for some reason, out of breath. Arbiter asks why they are out of breath, and Greg responds that Grifball is his workout. Their friend then asks them to join Greg and Sarah's wedding, which will be conducted over Xbox Live. The Chief lashes out and calls them "fags", but the Arbiter politely agrees to go.

Chief becomes enraged and says "wtf waz taht". Arbiter stops him and asks him to go because he does not want to go alone, stating that it will be "awkward as shit". Chief turns around and asks for 20 dollars. The Arbiter says 15, and the Chief "haggles" for ten. The arbiter agrees and the episode goes on.

The wedding is conducted on a Forged Foundry variant. The Chief frequently swears, saying it is "sum gay ass shit." A white Spartan acts as a preacher and begins, after brief difficulty, to play the appropriate wedding music through his headset. At this point, Arbiter begins to realize the ridiculousness of the situation, and tells the Chief that he is all for online matchmaking, but this is going too far. Cortana enters and states that "I think this is very sweet" to which the Chief says "U WUD!". The red Spartan then tells them to be quiet, to which the Chief replies "NO U".

Sarah walks out to the altar, while the Chief sexually harasses her, telling her she has a "nice ass baby". The white spartan begins to read the marriage speech, while the Chief is looking around the room and notices many Fusion Coils. When the white Spartan asks if anyone objects to the wedding, Chief objects, swears angrily, picks up his Sniper Rifle, and lands a headshot on the red Spartan. He then begins to charge his Spartan Laser, saying "IMA CHARGIN MAH LAZAAAAH!", and then yells "SHOOP DA WOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!" as it fires, destroying one Fusion Coil. The blast triggers a massive chain reaction, launching everyone at the altar. Arbiter and the Chief quickly flee the scene as the Chief laughs hysterically. After an argument about the Chief ruining the wedding, Arbiter admits that Chief's gatecrash was funny, and after some silence, asks the Chief if he wants to do it again. The Chief replies "dayum RITE SON," and they bump fists.

Episode 15: Professional (Part 1 of 3)

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Arbiter is playing Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway when Master Chief wants him to see new gameplay footage from then-unreleased Halo 3: ODST. The Arbiter is reluclant, but finally gives in.The video that he plays opens with the game's title, but suddenly switches to the video of the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Enraged at being Rickrolled, Arbiter throws the tissue box at Master Chief, who used the Rickroll to distract Arbiter so he could get the Xbox. Chief then tells Arbiter that he wants him to meet a friend of his. Arbiter at first hesitates due to bad memories from Chief's other friends, but finally agrees. Chief's new friend is an MLG professional named "Craig". Chief has a ton of respect for Craig because he disobeys his parents and refuses to clean his room.

Chief and Arbiter meet Craig and his girlfriend with no personality, Krystal. Craig chats with Arbiter and Chief, and frequently whispers Krystal that both the Chief and Arbiter are both losers. Master Chief continuously asks Craig if he can be in MLG, but Craig keeps telling him to practice more. Arbiter begins to questions Craig's connection with MLG, and Craig makes up many excuses when questioned. After a bit, Arbiter leaves with a positive message. After Arbiter and Chief leave, Craig tells Krystal that he once almost drank a whole can of beer.

Following that, Arbiter gets a headache from them and Chief tells him he wasn't nice to Craig. Arbiter then tells Chief that he hates Craig and that Craig reaffirms him of Chief's bad taste in friends, much to the surprise of Chief. Chief shakes this off and tells Arbiter he is jealous of Craig because he is MLG.

The very next day, Arbiter gets a Budweiser can. As he walks, he sees Chief crying. Chief tells Arbiter that Craig and his friends insulted him and made him cry. This makes Arbiter explain to Chief that perhaps he should learn to pick better friends. Then Chief reveals that they called Arbiter a "cockmongling queefburger". Arbiter drops his can of beer in both shock and anger. He then picks up Chief, scaring him, and says "we're going to have a little talk with Craig".

Episode 16: Face Off (Part 2 of 3)

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Craig is talking to two people who have signed into MLG. They brag about "playing Halo 3 everyday and getting laid every night." Then a player comes up to them and tells them that it's okay joining MLG, and that he lost 20 pounds and met a girl. Craig and the two guys laugh, claim that the gameroom was for professional MLG players, and boot the player.

Arbiter joins the room and approaches them. Arbiter asks Craig what's his problem, prompting Craig to ask, "Does he need his diaper changed?" Arbiter tells him to apologize to Chief, who is still crying about Craig making fun of him. Craig then offers to apologize if Chief can beat him one-on-one. Arbiter argues, but finally accepts. Craig yells that the match will be a 10-point Slayer battle on Blackout.

Chief runs to the bathroom and closes the door. Arbiter tries to motivate the Chief into playing. Arbiter offers to watch "Keys to the VIP." Chief refuses and Arbiter tells him not to worry by telling him that he's awesome at Halo. Chief asks whether or not he will "get all the bitc3z" if he wins. Arbiter says yes, and the Chief decides to accept the challenge.

Episode 17: Showdown (Part 3 of 3)

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Chief drank a lot of beer before the match as a way to calm himself down, only to be told by the Arbiter that the beer is non-alcoholic. While Chief is checking the beer can, the Arbiter disconnects Chief's controller and plugs in his own so it will be him fighting Craig.

When the match starts, Craig grabs the Energy Sword and Rocket Launcher. Craig then goes on to camp in one spot with the weapons and a stockpile of grenades, killing Arbiter several times. When Chief discovers Arbiter was actually playing, he runs off. Arbiter follows, leaving his controller alone. Left with nothing to do and no opponent to kill, Craig gloats to himself about how good he is, and begins masturbating. His mother walks in and catches him, and the two, along with Craig's father, have an argument, distracting Craig from the game.

After the Arbiter tells Chief he has faith in him, Chief reenters the match, and easily kills the absent Craig and wins the match, as Craig is no longer playing While performing the final kill, Chief exclaims to the absent Craig, "MLG? I disagree!" and snipes the Fusion Coils next to Craig. Craig is then heard crying intensely.

After his victory, Chief becomes famous for beating an MLG player. The young player from the second part enters a game and finds Chief talking to Craig's ex-girlfriend, Krystal, and starts asking him questions on how he defeated Craig. Chief condescendingly tells the player to leave, calling him a noob and landing a headshot on the player.

It turns out that Chief has become even worse than Craig. After the young player is killed, Krystal giggles, which causes Chief to stare at her for several seconds. Chief aggressively says "Titties or GTFO!". Krystal gasps in offense and beats Chief to death. The Chief LOLs uncontrollably, as his corpse rolls down a hill. At the very end, Chief appears fullscreen and "bwewrolls" anyone who watched the whole video.


 * Note: This episode was briefly removed from YouTube as a result of a copyright claim by a mysterious person known as "Mohammed Pabel Miah". Apparently, according to Jon Graham, the episode "depicted a young man masturbating", which goes against "Mohammed"'s religion, Islam. However, the situation was sorted out and the video is currently back up on YouTube. Jon was severely annoyed by the situation, not just because of the pulling, but because of the people spouting hate on his forums and sending hate e-mail about "Mohammed". At one point he even called them "f*ckheads" because it became so annoying.

Episode 18: Glitch

 * Watch on YouTube

The Arbiter downloads the "New Xbox Experience", and thinks he is playing the Nintendo Wii for a second. He fails to notice when the Chief walks by and expresses suicidal intentions. The Arbiter later finds the Chief in the oven. Chief asks the Arbiter to turn the oven on, and Arbiter asks Chief why he is killing himself. The Chief says it is too sad to tell. He explains that he lost his Katana, and brings the Arbiter to Halo 3 to show him how much of a big deal is.

On Snowbound, three Spartans are inside a base. The Arbiter appears and finds out that a glitch in Halo 3 causes Security shoulders and Hayabusa Katanas to disappear, and certain achievements can't be unlocked. He also finds out that because of this, all Halo 3 games on Xbox Live are filled with rioters, seeing one Spartan kill another over the issue. A blue Spartan tells the Arbiter that its happening everywhere, describing an event during a Forge match, when his Spartan friend killed himself in-game and wrote a message in weapons saying, "Why?"

Various other players are killing themselves, one is trampled, another is vomiting.

The video ends with the message "To Be Concluded".

Episode 19: Panic

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On Snowbound, two players and the Arbiter are taking refuge in the Ice Cave. One of the players explains to the Arbiter that his yellow-armored friend is nearly insane, and that he's been talking to himself. The Arbiter tells him he's a douchebag, makes fun of his gamertag (assassininja4827), his age to be playing Halo 3 (39) and states that Halo 3 is only a game. The other player takes out his pistol and points it at the Arbiter's head. The three begin to yell at each other to the point where all they are yelling is gibberish.

A red Shotgun-wielding Spartan appears, and soon after, a Warthog drives by. Two players ride in the Warthog, announcing that Bungie is fixing the problem. One of the three players with the Arbiter responds aggressively, throwing a grenade at the Warthog while yelling, "Repent!" The passenger, Bill, is thrown from the vehicle and killed. The driver grieves the loss of his fellow comrade, claiming that he always told Bill to wear his seatbelt, but Bill never listened.

The driver is then thrown out of the seat. It is revealed that both of the players in the Warthog were Bungie employees. The attacking player pulls out a Brute Shot. He metaphorically compares the Brute Shot's blade to that of his lost Katana, and proceeds to brutally slit the driver's throat.

Back at the Ice Cave, the four are still arguing, with the Arbiter claiming that the loss is trivial, and telling the others to stop being so dramatic. One of the Spartans, clad in yellow armor, realizes that the glitch has now affected him. Angered, he informs the red Spartan before proceeding to attack the Arbiter. The Chief suddenly appears, tackling the red Spartan "for great justice". A fight breaks out.

The Arbiter backs away, and a green Spartan shows up. The green Spartan announces that Bungie has found a solution to the problem: simply unlock the 49 achievements that shipped with the game. The first stops. Two of the players proceed to play a game together. The yellow Spartan invites Chief to a game; the Chief rejects the offer, stating that he plans to get the remaining achievements. The Spartan calls the Arbiter an "asshole", and then notes that he has to leave. The Arbiter counters, asking if the Spartan is late for a prostate exam; they reply, "Fuck you!"

The Arbiter leaves, saying that he is leaving to get a beer. The Chief says, "TO THEETR MOED", announcing plans to upload a screenshot to his Myspace.

After the credits, the Arbiter is seen telling the viewer that rushing to make an account with the gamertag "assasinninja4827, assninja4827, or some variation" is "stupid", and that no one will be impressed. He then proceeds to say "owned."

Episode 20: Cheater

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The Arbiter comes into the living room to find Chief watching Halo 3 game strategy videos on the Xbox Dashboard, claiming he's "SIK OF FGTS KILIGN MEH IN HALO". The videos are made by an idiot named Josh Butterballs, who calls the game "Halo 3 Combat Evolved". Josh then proceeds to play the game, incorrectly coining weapons and other Xbox related things such as achievements, all the while saying tips to be written down and used.

A while later, Chief complains to Arbiter that he still sucks after writing down the tips from the video, to which Arbiter is glad Chief acknowledges his low skill level at Halo. Chief asks Arbiter for help, but which Arbiter declines, calling Chief a "lost cause". Chief then despondently walks through Blackout, when a mysterious person lures him into a room, claiming to have overheard Chief and Arbiter's conversation. He offer the Chief cheats, and Chief immediately shuns him. When the hacker begins to walk out of the room, Chief turns around and takes the offer.

The scene cuts to Valhalla, where Arbiter runs to the open area, to see all of the players in the match just standing around. He rushes over and asks what's going on, and they explain that somebody used hacks to bolt around and get to the top of the tower. Two Spartans are then sniped by an auto-lock hack. Chief laughs at himself being able to kill people with the pull of a trigger. Arbiter comes up behind the tower and warns Chief that hacking will get the account, which both of them use, banned, but Chief blows him off and turns around.

A Bungie representative appears behind Chief and knocks him off the tower. He then pulls out a Gravity Hammer and screams at Chief. The Bungie rep calmly explains to Arbiter that Chief lit up on the anti-cheat measures like a Christmas tree. He then proceeds to scream at the Chief, "So, what do you have to say for yourself? Huh? HUH?! HOW LONG DID YOU THINK YOUR LITTLE CHEATING SPREE WAS GOING TO LAST, YOU LITTLE BITCH?!?!" Chief begs the rep to spare him.

Arbiter asks if the Gravity Hammer the Bungie employee wields is the fabled Banhammer. The rep says that it is, "In all its glory." Arbiter explains that the gamertag is used by the both of them, asking the rep if he could somehow punish Chief and only Chief. The rep decides not to ban him, opting to do the next worst thing: take Chief's Recon armor permutation.

Arbiter explains that Chief deserved having his Recon taken away, that Chief was a "fucking idiot" for cheating, and that they were lucky to not be banned. Chief then turns on another Halo strategy video yet again by Butterballs, who says that shooting an enemy with the "rocket gun" will make him explode like a Flood Carrier Form, laughing hysterically at the joke and rationalizing it to death. Chief makes one final "lol" at the joke before the credits end.

Episode 21: Company, Pt. 1

 * Watch on YouTube

The Arbiter is watching an extremely basic Halo 3 machinima called "The Adventures of Frank and Joe". The titular characters proceed to banter aimlessly with extremely obvious and babyish dialogue that disgusts the Arbiter and "makes [him] want to slice [his] wrist with a knife". The Chief soon rushes in and and tells the Arbiter that "kids make crappy machinima". The Arbiter then turns to the screen to see an Elite killing Frank and Joe, saying "Double Kill", and proceeding to teabag them.

The Chief then suggests that the two of them create their own machinima. The Arbiter initially thinks that "that is a lame idea", but eventually agrees. The two of them set off to work, despite their lack of plot ideas. The Arbiter then tells the Chief to remove his tie because it "makes him look retarded". The Chief then states that "because he is the president of a company, he needs to look like a businessman". The Arbiter then reminds the Chief that there is no one else around and that it isn't a real company. This greatly angers the Chief, who tells the Arbiter to return to thinking of ideas. The Chief says that he has done a lot of work, despite the fact that all he has done is draw a "giant dong" on a whiteboard with a "baby penis on board".

Seven weeks later, the Chief finally wrote down the script, which has 5000 characters, though he has only hired three children as actors. The kids whine and the Chief explains that the filming should be closed in 2 months. The kids then complain that they want to be paid. The Chief is confused by this and the Arbiter tells him that they want money.The Chief then tells him to fetch Jon's wallet for cash. Soon one of the actors decides to leave the film. Annoyed, the Chief turns back to the remaining actors and says that the three of them shall make the machinima. The episode ends with a cliffhanger.

Episode 22: Party

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The Arbiter wakes up on the couch with a hangover. He is unaware of last night's events, makes a "lame-ass Halo pun" (his head feels like it "was hit by a Warthog"), and figures he is messed up. He first looks towards the beer cans, saying he doesn't like beer. As he holds one, a flashback (in annotation form) is triggered...

Flashback A: Night Of The First Day

The Master Chief walks up to Arbiter, who is downloading the Mythic Map Pack. The Arbiter expresses interest in Orbital and Sandbox, but pans Assembly, remarking it's "like a less sucky Midship". Chief suggests they "GIT THEIR DRINKS ON" because Jon bought an "assload" of beer. He pressures the Arbiter into joining him.

The flashback ends. Arbiter drops the empty beer can and walks over to the modem. He pulls a large cable that looks like multiple USB cables tied together with duct tape out of the modem, triggering another annotation flashback...

Flashback B: Night Of The First Day, 18 Hours After Release

A drunken Arbiter and Chief are on the couch, complaining about the slow Internet connection, which is like "a slow turtle... that's dead. From... turtle cancer..." which the two laugh about. Chief eventually gets the idea to turn three Ethernet cables into a single mega-cable to let the "internet fit through it better". Arbiter expresses worry, and Chief cuts it and duct tapes it. He then solders the mega-cable in the toaster. Chief suggests that they drink whiskey while they wait for it to solder.

The flashback ends. Arbiter drops the Ethernet cable, and walks over to a pile of whiskey bottles. As this triggers another flashback, Arby comments, "This just keeps getting better and better"...

Flashback C: Night of the First Day, 19 Hours After Release

Arbiter and Chief comment that the "super internet cable" actually worked. Chief gets an idea to super-charge the modem. He asks Arbiter to retrieve some AA batteries while he finds some copper wire. Chief promptly tapes the batteries together with tape and wire, which is attached to a plug plugged into the wall. Arbiter expresses worry about plugging two appliances into one outlet, but the two proceed, and the idea works. They then play on Sandbox. When they encounter a young, whiny player who constantly nags others for help with finding the Sandbox Skull, the Chief bullies the player by constantly throwing Kill Balls at him. Eventually, Chief gets another idea...

The flashback ends. Arbiter walks into the kitchen. After climbing on top of the counter, he looks at a pile of papers with Lucky Charms marshmallows, triggering another flashback...

Flashback D: Night Of The First Day, 20 Hours After Release

Chief, now heavily drunk, gets the idea to attempt to smoke cereal. After wrapping it up, he says he need to "asplode" the cereal and asks for Jon's shoe, which he promptly beats the "joint" with. While beating the cereal, Chief giggles, amused by the idea of beating things with shoes. Chief lights the cereal, fakes being high, and runs off saying he wants to go swimming. Arbiter walks over to the couch, and passes out, faceplanting on the couch, only a second before the modem saps all power from the house, causing all the lights to explode. This severely frightens the Chief, prompting his shouted response: "HOLY FUCK!! THE HOUSE JUST EXPLODED!!"

The final flashback ends. Arbiter eventually finds out where Chief is, and walks towards the bathroom, calling out Chief's name. Apparently Chief went swimming in the toilet. Arbiter says Chief should have went in the bath, considering the large turd in the toilet.

Jon said that he released Party because Machinima.org tasked him with making a video that used YouTube's annotation feature.

Episode 23: Company, Pt. 2

 * Watch on YouTube

The Arbiter is playing Halo when Chief calls him to work on the machinima production. The Master Chief then faxes over a non-disclosure agreement for the Arbiter to sign. When the Arbiter refuses to sign it, Chief faxes another paper to him, threatening federal action if the Arbiter continues to refuse. With that, the Arbiter furiously enters the Chief's room and notes that the Chief, still wearing his tie, is not doing anything. The Master Chief responds that he is doing the paperwork, but the Arbiter quickly notes that the papers are all blank.

The Arbiter then tells him that the Chief bloated the machinima project out of all proportion, "taking all the humanity" out of a fun pastime and filling it with legal jargon. Then he proceeds to resign with the famous quote, "You can also give this a little tug while you're at it," patting his groin, and exiting. The Master Chief finds his actors on Xbox Live, who quit because the Arbiter told them about the Chief's extremely obnoxious ways. They then tell the Chief to read the forms which the Arbiter gave to him. The forms are signed in succession, "FUCK" and "YOU." The Master Chief simply says, "That son of a bitch."

Episode 24: Evil

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The Arbiter and the Chief are playing Resident Evil 5, with the Chief joking about an enemy that needs to be killed with a flamethrower. The Arbiter then refers to a review from Josh Butterballs, who repeatedly comments (over the course of two weeks) that the game is good but not scary.

Later, the Arbiter is playing on Valhalla when he sees two players protesting against Resident Evil 5. Wondering why he can never start a normal match in Halo, the Arbiter approaches the players and asks why they are protesting. They claim that Resident Evil 5 is racist and insensitive, before asking him if he is the Arbiter. The Arbiter replies, "How did you know?" The two players tell him that the Chief had previously warned them that the Arbiter would try to stop the protest. The Chief then joins the game, saying that he joined the protest.

The Arbiter, surprised that the Chief joined the protest for no apparent reason, notes that Chief was playing the game yesterday. The Arbiter and the two protesters then discuss the situation in Africa, saying that it is going through hard times. As they discuss this, the Chief melees the lid off of a box whose label stated that it contained Chris Redfield's penis. The Arbiter is then proved wrong by the protesters.

Later, the Chief is yet again playing Resident Evil 5. The Arbiter, surprisingly, is not playing; he is instead contemplating the protesters' allegations of racism, and wondering whether they were right. The Arbiter then returns to the protesters on Valhalla, saying that the game is a bit insensitive, but probably only inadvertently so, and that they should enjoy the game for what it is. The protesters agree, and discontinue their protest.

Later, the Chief and the Arbiter are playing Resident Evil 5. The Arbiter asks Chief for help with unlocking an item in the game. Chief denies his request, but after some more prodding from the Arbiter, Chief agrees to help, answering with a quote from Albert Wesker: "Sevin minits, sevin minits is al i can spaer 2 pleh w/ u." This angers Arbiter, who tells Chief that if he says one more Albert Wesker quote, he is going to "beat [the Chief's] ass". After a moment of brief, disturbing silence, the Chief yells "CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!". Arbiter then tackles Chief and proceeds to beat him up. While getting his ass severely beat by the Arbiter, Chief exclaims one final Albert Wesker quote before the credits role: "UR FUTUR HINGES UPON THIS FIGHT!"

Episode 25: King

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The Arbiter and the Chief are playing on Live, and Arbiter vetoes a Rockets match on Snowbound. Instead, they play Crazy King on Guardian. Soon after the game starts, a glitch occurs and the game pauses, but leaves the players still able to move around, kill each other and talk. Among the other players are two extremely immature children who are fascinated with Arby 'n' the Chief, two Darkspire fans, one Red vs. Blue fan, and one player who simply enjoys watching conflicts.

Everyone immediately begins to bicker about the different machinimas, with one commenting that Rooster Teeth are automatically the best because they were the first producers of Halo machinima. Soon the initial argument dies down as the Darkspire fans, Red vs. Blue fan, and the person enjoying conflict all ragequit. The two annoying kids then look for people willing to sign a petition for Jon CJG to change his name back to Digital Ph33r, and when nobody does, they start asking the Chief trivial questions about Jon's personal life and requesting that he say famous quotes from the series, such as "soi soi soi soi soi" and ":(". Meanwhile, the Arbiter talks with the person who enjoys conflict and afterward decides to settle the argument.

The Arbiter convinces the Red vs. Blue fan that his argument is stupid and that, as he is an aspiring romantic novelist, hypocritical. He also convinces everyone that since the different machinima producers would probably get along very well if they were to meet in real life, their fans have no reason to bicker as they are. Everyone agrees that their respective favored machinimas have competition, and immediately afterward the game returns to normal. The area erupts in a battle, and momentarily the Arbiter seems to emerge victorious, only to be assassinated by the Chief.

Later, the fates of Todd, Travis, and Cortana are all revealed. Apparently, Todd and Travis were two of the players in the game that the Arbiter and the Chief just participated in. After the fight with Chief, Todd and Travis had been kidnapped by an alien who happened to look suspiciously like Jon's chin. During the abduction, Travis had attempted to leave a message explaining his fate, but he had only managed to delete the Cold Storage map. Todd notes that if this was a web series, then this scene would be an extremely bad way to fill in a plot hole; Cortana merely expresses happiness at the prospect of being light-years away from the Chief. The alien returns, and offscreen, he rapes Todd and Travis before eating them. The alien has no desire for females, opting to place Cortana in an escape pod and fire her into a nearby star.

Season Four
Season 4, which is composed of only EndGame is the finale of Arby 'n' the Chief.

It has been spilit into six parts.

Episode 26: Endgame, Pt. One

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The episode opens with the Chief playing Call of Duty 4, displaying his usual complete lack of skill and complaining about the game nonstop, ranging from the weapons to the Killcam. Annoyed, the Arbiter suggests that he just play Halo instead.

The scene cuts to a chase in the woods, with a Russian agent pursuing a man with a horrible hairdo and who does cocaine even when being chased. This leads the man, Scott, to trip over a root. The Russian agent accuses him of hacking online video games and of smuggling cocaine in Canada and Russia for sixteen years, and follows it up by pronouncing Mother Russia's punishment upon him: 37 consecutive death sentences. Scott attempts to bribe the agent with American cigarettes and then some cocaine, but the agent refuses. Scott then throws cocaine in the agent's face and escapes.

A month later, the Chief is still playing Call of Duty 4, and is still horrible. While playing Mile High Club, he shoots a hostage, mistaking him for a terrorist, and promptly loses. He then decides to play Halo.

Episode 27: Endgame, Pt. Two

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The Chief and the Arbiter are playing Halo 3, whereupon another player insults Chief for his username. As they bicker, and as Chief uses some more mom jokes, he complains that he can't hear what the other person is saying because of the extremely loud music in Jon's apartment. Arbiter informs him that, since Jon has been falling behind in rent, Jon has allowed Scott to share the room as long as they share the payments. He then tells Chief that they do not have to worry about Scott, as he thinks that they are hallucinations due to his high substance abuse. Scott then comes out, eats a cocaine sandwich, breaks much of Jon's silverware and leaves.

In the meantime, the argument between Chief and the other person has come to a head. The Chief at one point even farts into the microphone. Finally the Arbiter intervenes and says, "Settle down, it's just a game." Curiously he notices a girl in the game had said the exact same thing at the exact same time. The Arbiter instantly is struck by her, until the Chief tells him that his armor "aspl0ded." The Arbiter realizes that his helmet has fallen off and is depressed by the thought that, as action figures, he and the Chief are bound to fall apart sooner or later. The Chief tries to comfort him by telling him that his visor also comes right off.

Still unhappy, the Arbiter talks to the girl, whose name is Claire. Ironically, the Arbiter lies about his name to Claire as the Chief berates him for hitting on a girl in a video game. The episode ends as the Chief kills the player he was arguing with. Claire asks in disgust who that was, to which the Arbiter replies that he has no idea.

Episode 28: Endgame, Pt. Three

 * Watch on YouTube

On Sandtrap, two overly zealous "professional" players discuss and complain about how too many people don't play Halo with even a little bit of professionalism. They see someone walking towards them, and attempt to snipe the player. No matter how many times they shoot him, he does not die. One of them in a panic flees while the other is lagged out by the player, screaming. Later the professional who had fled returns to find the other slumped helplessly against a wall, claiming that he was lagged out. The player returns and lags him out as well.

In Jon's apartment, the Arbiter, helmet off, is instant messaging Claire. He complains that, without body language on MSN, he has no idea what she means by what she says. He types an offer to play more together, eventually having lunch some time, but does not press enter. His hand is hovered over the enter key when suddenly the Chief comes in, scaring the Arbiter and leading him to send the message. Angrily the Arbiter berates Chief, who still has not gotten over the loss of his Recon. The Arbiter tells him that most kids attempt to get Recon armor by faking an illness, usually brain cancer, but advises the Chief to think of something more original. The Chief thanks him and tells the Arbiter that he is his best friend. The Arbiter coldly reminds him that he is his only friend. When he looks back at the computer screen, Claire has replied yes to his offer.

Episode 29: Endgame, Pt. Four

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In an attempt to impress Bungie into giving him back his Recon, the Chief cuts off his own foot with a knife. As the Arbiter tends to the wound, he tells the Chief that he was being sarcastic when he told him to be a bit more "original." As they argue, they hear a loud noise. They peek in Scott's room to discover him trying to use the computer, unaware that it is off, and at the same time trying to smoke eight cigarettes simultaneously. Eventually he decides that he wants to have sex, and orders two hundred prostitutes with Jon's credit card. The Chief and Arbiter are both furious, chief intends to call the police, but arbiter reminds him that if Scott would dissapear they wouldnt be able to pay rent and they would end up in a box in the salvation army. Chief thinks they should slits his throats instead, arbiter tells him to put it away and reminds him that Jon wouldn't be able to pay the rent regardless. Chief comes with a idea that they should sell his organs to the chinese, to which arbiter replies I cant believe I wasnt actually considering that

Later, the Arbiter is on a "date" with Claire on Last Resort, watching the waves on the beach. The Arbiter is clearly disgruntled by this, although he manages not to let Claire know. In the meantime, the Chief offers him a condom. When the Arbiter returns his attention to Claire, she mentions that a hacker has been ruining the online experience for weeks now, and that even Bungie can't stop him. Shocked, the Arbiter realizes that Scott is the hacker, but unfortunately he expresses his revelation out loud and accidentally let slip that his name is not Jon, and that Jon is his owner. Claire is confused and angrily dumps the Arbiter for lying to her. Depressed once again, the Arbiter leaves. The Chief finishes the episode by commenting that the Arbiter won't need the condom anymore.

Episode 30: Endgame, Pt. Five

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The story picks up shortly before the end of Part Four, with Arbiter losing Claire and Chief commenting that Arbiter won't need the condom. Arbiter complains that his life isn't fair, and Chief drops the condom, full of shampoo, down in front of Arbiter in an attempt to cheer him up. Chief then makes a rousing speech, albeit in leet-speak as usual, about how he would like to go out with a bang. Chief goes on to announce he wants to bust Scott, save Halo, and have "sexy time with Claire". Arbiter comments that Claire is his girl, but agrees to the other terms. They high-five.

Claire is shown inside a maze with an Assault Rifle, being chased by Scott with a Spartan Laser. She shoots Scott multiple times with her Assault Rifle, but doesn't do any damage. She runs out of the maze and is about to walk off when she sees Sandbox's ground below her. Scott walks out and charges his laser, with the targeting beam hitting Claire's face. Scott is shown randomly pressing buttons on the 360 controller, when Chief and Arby burst in. Scott complains they aren't supposed to show up before he takes his drugs, to which Arbiter responds they are very much real. Chief takes Jon's LG cellphone, stating it orders pizza and police. Scott warns them he'll kick their ass before they can dial the number, to which Arbiter responds they called an hour ago. Chief calls for Agent Smirnoff, and the KGB agent from before bursts in.

Scott picks up the keyboard and smashes it into the agent, who dodges. Scott grabs his pistol, but before he can shoot he is shot in the chest by the KGB agent. He then shoots him in the head, takes Scott's pistol, and shoots him multiple times with it. Scott falls over on the ground, bleeding profusely. While the Arbiter complains about how extreme this was, Chief expresses that he likes it. Scott continues to stay alive, dragging himself across the apartment and getting blood all over the floor to where he keeps his cocaine. He does cocaine propped up against a shelf before he dies.

Episode 31: Endgame, Pt. Six

 * Watch on YouTube

The episode opens with Scott's dead body. Chief offers Agent Smirnoff some Triscuits, and after he declares that anyone who fucks with Mother Russia fucks with him, he takes the entire bag, much to Chief's annoyance. Chief and Arbiter then contemplate their fate on Valhalla. One scenario that they think of is Jon selling them to some 8-year old boy. Chief hopefully asks if he has Barbie dolls, but Arbiter tells him that instead he'll probably just have Batman figures, but admits that Barbie dolls wouldn't be that bad. Claire suddenly appears behind them and comments on how the Arbiter lied, but also remarks that he was extremely brave; she had heard the entire exchange between Arbiter, Chief and Scott the episode before. Arbiter and Claire make up, and after a short conversation during which Chief tries (unsuccessfully) to make a cock joke, Claire suggest that Jon move in with her, so they can save costs. Chief is still sad that he lost his Recon Armor, but a Bungie official drives up in a Warthog and gives it back as a thanks for getting rid of Scott. Chief then sees another person in Recon Armor, and that person says that he finished the Vidmaster achievements from Halo 3 and Halo 3: ODST, saying then that "everyone has Recon." The Chief declares that once again, he hates Bungie.

The video then cuts to a view of a box which Chief and Arbiter are stuck in. Chief and Arbiter find a way to pass the time seeing as how they are stuck inside that for 24 hours. They get on a short conversation delving from multiple topics, from swine flu to Kanye West's infamous interruption of Taylor Swift during the VMAs, to Chief mistaking Pokémon with Star Wars. Eventually the Chief gives the Arbiter 20 guesses to guess what his favorite game is. Arbiter answers Halo 3 effortlessly. The Chief ends the series with a short, "Dammit."

Arby 'n' the Chief in L.A.
On November 2, 2009 it was announced that a sequel to the series is in production. The sequel's title is "Arby n the Chief in L.A." Jon Graham stated on his blog that he is not working on the project, and that Machinima.com has taken complete control of the series. However, Machinima.com is still going to go to Jon for him to provide tips and information to help with series continuity. Because of bad fan reception for the first two episodes, on November 24, 2009, much to his dismay, Jon Graham stated on his blog that he was asked by Machinima to fly to L.A. and help them with the third episode to "give the new crew a running start." However, he was detained by US Homeland Security as a Canadian citizen and was denied entrance to the United States; the new arrangement is for Jon to simply write the scripts and manage to voices, while a film crew in LA does all the actual production. Jon stated on his blog that he still doesn't consider the series his anymore.

Episode 1: Dear Jon

 * Watch on YouTube

In Claire's house in California, Chief is attacking one of his teammates solely because he has Recon as well. The Arbiter tells him that soon everybody will have Recon, so this is pointless, but the Chief does not accept that fact and ridicules the Arbiter for still waiting for Claire to return.

Claire and Jon return and Jon goes to take a shower. Claire attempts to apologize to the Arbiter about how she is going out with Jon, but Arbiter insists that it is okay and that he understands why she would not want to date him. Claire thanks the Arbiter and follows Jon.

The Arbiter is frustrated because, ever since they arrived in California, he and the Chief have literally been doing nothing but sitting on the sofa and playing the same videogames over and over. He decides to leave the house and go outdoors in search of adventure. The Chief follows.

Episode 2: Walking in LA
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The Arbiter awakes inside an overturned box on the streets of Los Angeles, complaining that he feels terrible and asks the Chief how he feels. The Chief responds that he smells like cat piss. Arbiter points out that if he bothered to clean up once in a while, he would smell better; Chief retorts that he always smells like roses. The Arbiter exposes the Chief's inconsistency- he had just said that he smelled like cat piss- but the Chief answers that he smelled like roses which a cat had urinated on.

Angrily, the Chief complains that this is "some adventure": the two have no home, no sofa, and most importantly, no Xbox. The Arbiter then makes the Chief tour around Los Angeles, visiting Hollywood, the beach, and other locations. The scene then cuts to an intense duel in Halo 3 between two MLG players. One manages to kill the other with a plasma grenade, and the victor is revealed to be Chief. In a parallel to the first episode of the original series, the commentator says that he "wouldn't be surprised if Bungie made him his own special armor that would make Recon look like a silly pink dress that only women wear." Chief proceeds to teabag the other player, but is awoken out of his daydream (again) by the Arbiter.

It is revealed that Chief has crudely improvised an Xbox controller out of a TV remote, a couch out of an empty box of tissues with a piece of torn towel, and an Xbox plus television out of a large jug with an illustration of stick figures shooting at each other. The Chief insists that this was a vision of the future, but the Arbiter calls this stupid and tells Chief that they are going to the zoo, suggesting that the Chief can throw feces back at the monkeys. The Chief at this point is tired of adventures and decides to set out to find an Xbox so that his vision will come true, before strolling down an alley. The Arbiter follows him and finds the remains of numerous action figures strewn across the ground. A dog approaches him, but is scared away by the Chief wearing a piece of black cloth. The two set off to the zoo to throw feces at the monkeys.

Episode 3: Lost
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The first episode from Arby 'n' the Chief In LA that Jon has written and voiced for.

Master Chief and the Arbiter are lost next to a dumpster. The Chief wants to go to the zoo like the Arbiter suggested last episode, but the Arbiter then explains that they can't go to the zoo because people cannot see them because they would be captured and experimented on by the government. When the Chief makes a crude comparison to District 9, the Arbiter reveals that he believes in aliens; Chief, in contrast, believes that the universe is so big and constantly expanding because an extremely fat God watching over the Earth needs that much space.

During there argument the Arbiter pauses for a bit while someone walks up to the dumpster and throws something away. The Arbiter loses the argument for once because Master Chief brings up how ironic it is for them to be living. Master Chief still wants to go to the zoo, but Arbiter physically stops him. Master Chief then tries to head back to Claire's house. While the Arbiter doesn't want to go, implied to be because he is still upset over Claire, this time the Chief doesn't listen to him and heads off.

Arby 'n' The Chief in LA: Holiday Promo
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The promo starts off with Master Chief recording himself with a video camera. He thanks the viewers for watching his internet movies and wishes them a merry crist mass. The Arbiter corrects the Chief by saying "Merry Christmas". Chief then tells the Arbiter to shut his stupid face. The Arbiter then says that he bets 10 bucks that video will cause a heated religious debate in the comments below. The Chief finishes off his video off by telling the viewers to be sur3 2 staye h0m3 n t0uch ur firendz n famiblyz 0n chriist maass dae and asks the Arbiter to reassure him. The Arbiter tells Chief to fuck that because he is going to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie instead.

Episode 4: Breaking and Entering
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The Arbiter is walking behind Chief on an LA street, telling him to stop, at which Chief tells him to "fux off". The Chief starts picking up and throwing stones at Arbiter, who walks behind a cardboard box, and, trying to stop Chief's immature behaviour, throws a stone at him, which hits him in the face, making him "cry" and fall to the street, at which Arbiter tries to apoligise, but Chief, pissed off, knocks Arbiter over and attacks him. Arbiter throw's him off and tells him all he want's is them to be safe and happy. They find a "Pro gamers" residence, of which Master Chief tries to break into despite a wide open door. Arbiter and Chief walk in, but due to Arbiter's bad feeling, Chief tells him "Don't be a square, there is no one here!" before discovering that someone is there: Sonic the hedgehog.

Episode 5: Ensemble
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The Sonic action figure is high from the scent of a Sharpie he is carrying, and walks with a limp. Sonic is overjoyed to see them, as he thinks that they are from Starship Troopers. Creeped out, the Arbiter suggests to the Chief that they leave, but when the Chief learns that they have an Xbox in the store he elects to stay. Sonic introduces them to two other action figures in the store: Luigi and Toad. When Sonic proclaims that he has found Starship Trooper characters, the Arbiter corrects him and tells him that they are actually Halo figures. Toad and Luigi tell the Arbiter and Chief to leave, because of the other person who lives there who has absolutely no tolerance of Halo. It is revealed that he gave Sonic his limp when he caught him playing Halo 3 once. They then hear an angry voice yelling at Toad for not making food for him; Toad and Luigi quickly hide the Arbiter and Chief. An angry Mario figure stomps into the room and berates Toad for not making him food, and punches out Luigi when he interrupts him. Mario is threatening to physically abuse Toad as well until the Arbiter intervenes and steps into the open, confronting Mario.

Background
On May 25th, 2008, Arby 'n' the Chief: The Movie, premiered at the machinima event CanWest 08 (to which the movie was created for) and was published on YouTube the same day. The movie seems to take place in between the plot line of Episode 10 and 11, and features all of the characters of the series, and it's the first time any character has ventured out of Jon's apartment.

Production
Jon Graham is famous for being a solo machinima producer, but for the Movie, his friend Daniel Lazslo, aka D Laz, assisted him in the production of the film, most notably with visual effects.

Filming
The Movie was the first Master Chief Sucks at Halo/Arby 'n' the Chief production to go outside of Jon Graham's apartment. Filming took place in three different cities: Vancouver (Jon Graham's old residence), Chilliwack (another Canadian City), and Los Angeles (Where Jon Graham visited to work at the Machinima.com HQ for several days).

Plot Summary
In the beginning, Master Chief forces the Arbiter, Cortana, Todd and Travis to play along with a horrible game of "pretend" with Chief (one of Todd's lines is a crude drawing of a penis). As the others leave, the Arbiter approaches Chief and consoles him by telling him it was very "Imaginative". While watching machinima videos online, the Chief begins to insult Jon Graham, saying that his videos are shitty and repetitive. Arbiter tells him to make a machinima of his own, but says that if it's bad then he has to be nice for a day. The Chief retorts by saying that if the machinima is good, then the Arbiter, Todd, Travis and Cortana have to "shut up" for a day. Several weeks later, with the help of the Chief's online friends, his machinima is complete. It is very badly done, with a 3-hour long length, bad acting, over-the-top character actions, and a terrible plot. Everyone hates it, though Arbiter and Todd attempt to sugar-coat their criticism. Angry, the Chief says that he has uploaded it to the internet and that the result of the bet should depend on the online reaction (which is Chief standing at the computer for a day and continually hitting F5).

Chief's video attracts the attention of the eccentric machinima director Skyler Loveheart, the head of "Douchebag Studios". Loveheart mistakenly labels the movie as a parody of bad machinima, and so thinks that the video is a work of genius. He contacts the Chief and tells him that Douchebag Studios could use Chief's talents, and that they want him to come down to Los Angeles to create a serious machinima under their new contract. The Chief happily accepts and tells the Arbiter and Todd that he "doesn't have to live with [those] douchebags anymore." To everyone's delight except the Arbiter, the Chief leaves and heads to LA.

In Los Angeles, the Chief is greeted by Loveheart. The Chief asks to use Loveheart's phone, which he uses to call the Arbiter. He begins to brag to and insult the Arbiter, who angrily throws the phone out the window. The Chief then makes an online video, in which he boasts about his machinima talents. The video annoys the Arbiter, who "can't think of anyone with an ego that massive." Travis tells the Arbiter to let it go, and that they should be celebrating. The Arbiter half-heartedly agrees.

Nearly 2 months later, Chief's "serious" machinima is complete, titled "TEH EPIK BATEL". Loveheart, seeing the video and how bad it is, realises that the Chief isn't satirising bad machinima, but is simply bad himself. Loveheart furiously tells the Chief that he had invested a lot of money in him, and, pulling a pistol from his pocket, attempts to shoot him. Luckily, Loveheart's hyperactivity causes him to aim erratically, and so every shot misses, even hitting himself in the knee with one of the shots. The Chief steals Loveheart's car and escapes, heading back home. Loveheart commits suicide.

Back at Jon's apartment, Travis and the Arbiter are playing Halo 3. Losing, the Arbiter forfeits, saying he's not in the mood. The Chief arrives, and is greeted coldly by the Arbiter, who the Chief mostly ignores. He goes on to enthusiastically greet Todd, Travis and Cortana, who don't reply. The Arbiter tells him that he has quite a nerve coming back after the way he behaved, and that he should go. Chief, upset, cuts power to the apartment and leaves, going to the road and attempting suicide by throwing himself in front of a car. Arbiter, who followed, begs the Chief to get up, saying that he needs him in his life and that he even loves him. He turns away, until the Chief gets up, saying "that's seriously the gayest shit I've ever heard." He recalls when he tried to commit suicide in Master Chief Sucks At Halo 2, and comes to the conclusion that he can't die. He asks for a hug, which the Arbiter gives, not realizing the Chief has stuck another insulting sign on his back ("IM GAY").

Later, Todd, Travis and Cortana are having a discussion on Master Chief's destiny (whether he'd go to heaven or hell). Just then, a large Master Chief helmet appears around the corner of the hallway, saying that it will 'eat their (Todd's, Travis's, Cortana's and the Arbiter's) face', frightening everyone, especially Todd who screams effeminately at the top of his lungs and runs away when he sees it. However it turns out to be a prank by the Chief, who laughs as the movie ends.

Trivia

 * The first figures used Arbiter and Master Chief are from Halo 2, but Cortana, Todd and Travis are Halo 3 Action Figures.
 * Though distributed by http://www.Machinima.com, the series is technically not a machinima, with the majority of each episode filmed live-action and video games simply being a plot device.
 * In Episode 19 "Panic" of Season 3, Chief is heard saying a reference to both Halo 3 and 300. Right after he attacks the corrupt red Spartan for almost shooting Arbiter, he begins to say nonsense until the end where he says "For Sparta".
 * The time on Jon's clock is always 3:43. This a reference to 343 Guilty Spark, which was stated by Jon Graham in one of the episode commentaries.
 * Chief borrows one of his famous sentences from the well-known MMORPG World of Warcraft. In fact, his sentence "My roflcopter goes soi soi soi soi soi soi" was developed by WoW users that were joking about the gyrocopter mount.
 * Though Cortana was kidnapped by an alien, she only disappeared from the series a few episodes after Todd and Travis were kidnapped. This indicates that they were kidnapped separately; however, given that the alien had no desire for Cortana, it is curious why and how she disappeared.
 * In the episode "Wedding", when Master Chief Says "Ima chargin ma lazor! SHOOP DA WOOP!", he is referencing an internet meme started by Dom Fera on youtube with his animated shorts titled "The Laser Collection." There's a number of references to it in other Arby n the Chief episodes.

Internal Links

 * DigitalPh33r
 * Machinima