Arby 'n' the Chief

Arby 'n' the Chief is a machinima internet video series created by DigitalPh33r about the lives of figurine versions of Master Chief and the Arbiter. It's mainly based around the two playing Halo 3, but also occasionally playing games such as Call of Duty 4 and Devil May Cry 4, whilst spending the remainder of their time pulling off shenanigans.

Background
Arby 'n' the Chief is about two Halo 2-era Action Figures, of the Master Chief and the Arbiter and live in their owner's house, of Jon Graham. When Jon is at home, the figures stay put and don't move, like they should. Whenever he leaves, they start moving around, playing games, and pulling off shenanigans, similar to the Disney movie Toy Story.

Usually, they play Halo 3 on Xbox Live most of the time. The Arbiter does enjoy playing other games such as Grand Theft Auto IV, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and Super Smash Bros Brawl on Wii. During the episode "Martyrdom" the Chief even played Devil May Cry 4 and tries Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, which he ends up hating more.

Characters
Master Chief: The Master Chief is a foul-mouthed, immature and illiterate sexist who loves to trash talk other people, including his own "friends" and online. He is most commonly seen talking in "L33t Speak"(Leet Speak), which consists of shortened words, usually with numbers in them as well. He also conveys his emotions with text emoticons, like Sad Face which appears on the subtitles as :(. Other than the Halo games and GTA IV, he despises any other game, especially Call of Duty 4, to which he jokingly renamed "Cock of Doody 4:Modirn Gayfuckstupid". Even though Halo 3 is the only game he likes with the exception of playing Devil May Cry 4 once and hating it, he appears to be very bad at it, as shown whenever he plays. In fact, he hates all non-Microsoft or Bungie products, including the Wii and Mozilla Firefox to name a few. He seems to have feelings for Cortana, and openly expresses them to the Arbiter. Master Chief also tries to cheat people in unintelligent ways, for example, he tries to change the Call of Duty 4 disk for a chocolate chip cookie, and also he states he's drunk when he only drank water and wrote Beer, due to a spelling error. He is voiced by Microsoft Sam. His only real friend is the Arbiter. He represents the ignorant gamer who buys all the content of his favorite game(s).

Arbiter: The Arbiter is a nice, intelligent, character who, apart from the Chief's friends on Xbox Live, is Master Chief's only friend. When it comes to playing Halo, or any other game for that matter, the Arbiter is extremely good at them, as opposed to the Chief, who is extremely bad. He also seems to like Call of Duty 4 more than Halo 3 because it has got more maps, but it changes when the Legendary Map Pack is released. Digital Ph33r stated in one of director commentary episodes that he modeled the Arbiter after himself. It was hinted in some way at the end of the episode "Girls" that the Arbiter too is attracted to Cortana (But not as much as Master Chief). Although he says he does not like beer or anything that makes him unheathly, he begins to start drinking beer as he usually says during Season 3 and the Arby n' the Chief movie where he asks Travis for some alcohol while seeing Chief's rather stupid movie. He is voiced by Microsoft Mike. He represents Digitalph33r's opinion of gaming products.

Cortana: Cortana was first introduced at the very end of the episode "Girls". She is, like the Arbiter and Todd, smart. She is Todd's girlfriend and the love interest of Master Chief and possibly the Arbiter. She is kind to the Arbiter and of course Todd, but, because of the Chief's sexist attitude and his attempts to break Todd and her up, she resents him, mostly calling him a homophobe. She says she's a gamer once, but has never actually played the Xbox. Unfortunately, Cortana has had very little screentime thus far and seems to do nothing other than appear for a mere 5 seconds every other episode just to complain about something, thus making her a useless character afterward. She is voiced by Microsoft Mary.

Todd: Todd is smart, kind, and somewhat cowardly. He is Cortana's boyfriend. He and Travis were introduced in the middle of the episode "Newcomers". Not much can be said about him since he hardly ever had any parts in the series and mysteriously disappeared at the end of the episode "Conflict (Part 2 of 2)" along with Travis. He is another, but more up-to-date, Master Chief figure and was voiced by Digital Ph33r. As said before, he is not very brave, as one time Master Chief held up a Legendary Edition Master Chief helmet and he ran away screaming for help. He is voiced by Digital Ph33r like Travis, but Digital Ph33r uses a tone that closely resembles how his regular voice.

Travis: Travis is much like the Chief. They are both unintelligent and enjoy doing simple and stupid things. Travis is a Brute Chieftain figure who was introduced in the middle of the episode "Newcomers", along with Todd. He is into adult pleasures. For example, as soon as Cortana and the Arbiter met him, he asked if they had any beer. Also while he was on the Internet, with Master Chief, looking at Lolcats.com, he asked if they had any porn on the computer. He mysteriously disappeared at the end of "Conflict (part 2 of 2)", along with Todd. It is unknown what happened to him and Todd. He is also voiced by Digital Ph33r like Todd, but Digital Ph33r uses a different and much more vulgar tone than Todd.

Plot Summary
Jon's Halo 2 Master Chief Action Figure comes to life, and begins playing the Halo 3 Beta. He plays extremely badly throughout the games he plays, in slight partial to the lack of knowledge of new features of Halo 3, but mainly because of his total lack of gameplay ability.

Eventually, we find him asking The Arbiter to play Halo 3 Beta with him on MSN. However, it has been canceled, so Chief tries to drown himself in the toilet. When the suicide attempt fails (because he is wearing a helmet), he decides to play Halo 2 on Xbox Live, and gets booted for offensive behavior, notably team killing his own side to steal power weapons taking little skill to use because he's so bad at using conventional weapons. Afterward, he decides to check out Bungie.net for updates on Halo 3, and discovers the game's release date has been announced for Tuesday 25th September 2007.

In the final episode we find him under the Legendary Halo 3 Edition Helmet. He then comments on how a man on the internet lied to him by telling him that "wearing this helmet does not make you pleh better". He proceeds to play Halo 3. After a bad display of gameplay, he takes a Sniper Rifle, and gets a head shot while jumping. He thinks he has become the best Halo 3 player in the history of the world, and decides to make a Halo 3 Montage. After 7 weeks, assisted by the Arbiter, he finally completes his "masterpiece".

Episode 1: "Pilot"
Master Chief has a dream that he saves the day and wins a Halo 3 online match additionally receiving a prize from Bungie staff that included one billion dollars and infinite girlfriends. His dreams ends (with a bottle on Ron, Captain Morgan) abruptly when he gets a rude awakening by the buzzing phone ringing about a package delivery for Jon. Master Chief states that he is Jon and receives the package from the delivery man (played by Jon Graham himself). Master Chief ponders what the contents are and soon he cowers before the contained Arbiter, who was bought in an E-bay auction.

Whilst Master Chief is playing Halo 3 Matchmaking, the Arbiter breaks out of his packaging and overpowers a kitchen knife wielding Master Chief. The Arbiter demonstrates superior intelligence and greater gaming skills than that of Master Chief. The two have multiple arguments, particularly on subjects such as the Arbiter's opinion on the Heroic Map Pack and whether or not spamming grenades is tactical. Chief becomes irritated and re-words everything the Arbiter says and turns it into a sexual joke or mom insult, before thrashing the Arbiter with a frying pan with the Arbiter saying "This is the begining of a great relationship." The episode ends with Master Chief giving off his trademark "Lololololololol"

Episode 2: "Recon"
Chief recalls the argument in episode one, after noticing that Bungie has posted a sarcastic link to the video on their home page. Chief fails to spot this sarcasm, and the Arbiter tells him he is an idiot and that he should "try reading a book one of these days". This is an obvious reference to a YouTube user, who had the same argument.

Chief has improvised a top secret plan to obtain the Recon Armor Permutation from Bungie Studios. He reluctantly agrees to reveal his method to the Arbiter, whom is impressed by it's complexity, but the requirements, which include a magnifying glass the size of Redmond Washington, a team of invisible ninjas, and the Batmobile, "are somewhat, out of reach". As the Chief sulks, Arbiter comforts him, and tells him to write an email to Bungie. However, all he writes is "can I have recon plz", (with the z repeated many times) notably holding the "Z" keyboard button for about five minutes, which the Arbiter has plenty to say about. The Arbiter generously decided to type it instead, the Master Chief suggests that the Arbiter should say that he has 'super cancer' a reference to users pretending to have an illness when they request Recon from Bungie. The audience is left hanging over Bungie's decision to award Chief the Recon Armor.

Episode 3: "Attitude"
Amazingly, Chief received the Recon Armor. As he brags to other players about his new armor the Arbiter tries to warn him that no-one cares, but he gets unnecessarily angry at the Arbiter, throwing the controller at him.

He finds the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare game, takes it into the bathroom, snaps the game disc and tries to flush all the contents down the toilet, with obvious failure. He tries to fool the Arbiter with a poorly drawn case containing a cookie with a hole in the middle. The Arbiter has to buy a replacement copy, and forces the Chief to unclog the toilet as a consequence of his actions.

Episode 4: "Melee"
The Arbiter is building levels in the Forge mode of Halo 3, whilst the Chief pretends to be drunk on bottled water. The Arbiter challenges him to a one-on-one game. The two fight, but due to the melee system, the Arbiter gets a kill that should have been the Chief's.

Chief almost sends a very angry email to Bungie, blaming them for making a poor melee system, which caused his rank to go down. The Arbiter convinces him not to, and tells him to chill out. He then asks Chief why he even cares about his rank, since he is so bad at the game anyway and he has a poor kill/death ratio.

Episode 5: "Martyrdom"
After Chief gets angry at the lag on Halo 3 matchmaking (because he is trying to download 714GB of pornography), he tries playing Devil May Cry 4. This shocks the Arbiter, since Chief only plays Halo 3, and he hates any other game. Chief soon gets frustrated at this game as well (because he can't defeat Berial, the second boss), so the Arbiter decides he wants to play Call of Duty 4. He cancels Chief's download, which makes him mad.

To cheer Chief up, Arbiter offers him a go on Call of Duty 4. Chief tries making his own class, but wants to know what 'Martyrdom' is. The Arbiter explains that it is a poor game mechanic which he does not like, because everyone uses it. Chief activates it anyway. He starts the match, and unsurprisingly, is incredibly bad. The Chief fired at random and tried grenade spamming. Although another player killed him the screen indicated that he kills another player with 'Martyrdom' while completing the first 'Martyrdom' challenge. Arbiter gives him the instructions to read, but Chief ignores it, and restarts his download of porn, so the Arbiter throws a tissue-box at him.

Episode 6: "Brawl"
The Chief is trying to reach an Easter Egg in Halo 3, with some help from the Arbiter. They believe that there is a hidden section of level past a nearly impossible pitfall. (They're actually looking for the Easter egg of the floating image of a half-naked Bungie employee). The Arbiter tries to use a grenade to propel himself to the other side but is unsuccessful, this causes the Chief to laugh. The Chief tries the same, but does not even throw his grenade. The Arbiter makes fun of Chief to which Chief responds with mum jokes. The Arbiter then tells Chief to shoot a rocket near his feet to boost him across. After hesitating, the Arbiter runs and the Chief purposely shoots him in the back while laughing hysterically. Arbiter asks why he did that and the Chief responds by saying his roflcopter goes "SOI SOI SOI SOI". This makes the Arbiter get up and throw down his controller.

The Chief stops Arbiter and asks him for a hug. Arbiter is at first confused by this show of affection by the Chief, who asks "Where is the love?", but eventually hugs him, with the Chief reassuring him that it is all going to be OK. Arbiter admits that he is very uncomfortable. The Arbiter tells Chief he is proud of him being loving and walks off with a sign Chief put on his back during the hug. The sign reads "IM STUPED".

The Arbiter decides to play Super Smash Brothers Brawl. This makes Chief mad and he says a few mother jokes and said that the game is called "stupid barbie polly pocket hello kitty meow barney brothers brawl". The Arbiter asks Chief to change the TV to video three, but the Chief has no idea how to do it, so the Arbiter does it himself.

The Chief decides to broaden his horizons and tells Arbiter he wants to play too. Arbiter picks Wolf and tells Chief to pick his character. The Chief inquires about why there is no Master Chief. Arbiter explains that it is only Nintendo characters except Solid Snake and Sonic the Hedgehog. Chief retorts that "Mastar Cheef is "a pretty cool guy eh kills aleins and doesnt afraid of anythign." Arbiter tells Chief his sentence did not make any sense to which Chief quickly responds, "neethar dos ur face." Chief decides to pick Samus because he thinks the character somewhat looks like Master Chief. Arbiter informs Chief that Samus is a girl which greatly surprises Chief. Chief exclaims "HAWT" and asks Arbiter if she has boobs. Arbiter says most likely in which Chief decides to ask for a high five to celebrate Samus having breasts. Arbiter refuses to engage in the celebration which angers Chief because he is left hanging. This causes Arbiter to ask what is wrong with Chief and asks him if he is high. Chief responds that he is high on life.

They begin the match and Chief asks how he shoots his laser beam. Arbiter tells him to press B, the red button. Chief exclaims that the Nintendo Gamecube controller is like Lego. Chief charges his laser beam and fires it at Arbiter but Arbiter easily reflects it back at Chief and kills Chief. Chief exclaims "HOLY SHIT!! HAX!!!!" It is revealed that Chief sucks at Super Smash Bros., like he does at all games. This angers Chief incredibly, and he storms proclaiming his hate for the game. After saying that Halo 3 is the best game ever, Chief decides to watch cheap porn. Soon after, the Arbiter finds the sign on his back, causing Chief to start his roflcopter again and yell "SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI".

Episode 7: "Girls"
Chief begins to harass female players on Halo 3 matchmaking, one in particular who wears pink armor. The Arbiter notices a package near Chief, and asks what they are. He says they are "secks balloonz", when they're actually condoms. His methods of "pickign up hawt chixxx", which include spraying himself with an entire can of tag and 'inflating' his 'seckz bal00ns' (causing the Arbiter to ask Chief if he is retarded). After finding Chief chatting with a girl on internet with a condom threaded over his torso, Arbiter decides that he'll teach Chief how to appropriately behave around girls, even if it kills him.

After harsh teaching from Arbiter, Chief confronts the same female player he has been chasing, and apologizes for his disgraceful behavior towards her, and lets her play peacefully after being given a nod of thanks by the female gamer. Just after, Chief and the Arbiter discover Jon had just bought a new Cortana Action Figure, who Chief becomes infatuated with, but when talking to her, he shows a complete transformation back to his original, disgraceful attitude towards females, saying "Hello, you have beautiful eyes... I M34n NIPPL3s!" making the Arbiter say, "Oh for Christ's Sake!".

Episode 8: "Legendary"
The Arbiter recently downloaded the Legendary Map Pack, which he seemed to enjoy much more than the Heroic Map Pack. He comments on how good the visual filters are, but when Chief tells him to turn them all on, he says that that would be a poor idea for gameplay stating that "some are made entirely for machinima", and repeatedly asks Chief "what kind of ignoramus would do that?"(implying that Chief is that idiot). Chief sits on the couch unresponsive.

Ten minutes later, Chief has created his own map...with all the visual filters on. He invites his moronic friends to try out his map and they love it. He also shows the map to the Arbiter, but demonstrates a lack of creativity by placing every vehicle, weapon and equipment piece in one spot barricaded by walls making them impossible to get to, additionally putting all the spawn points in one spot. He believes that a map's "c00ln3ss" is measured by the amount of Forge budget money you spend on it, and therefore has spent the entire Forge budget on the map. Both the Arbiter and Cortana agreed that Chief's map is "The worst piece of shit map I've ever seen in my life", with an offensive reply from Chief. After striking Chief with Jon's saucepan, and asking Arby, "You live with this douchebag?", the Arbiter offers her a high five.

Episode 9: "Newcomers"
While Arbiter is playing Halo 3 Matchmaking with some extremely serious players who claim the match 'is such a big deal' and who also have an explicit argument over which gamer was more serious, Chief is bashing the new Grand Theft Auto 4 on the internet, and makes fun of Arby's mother before noticing another package arrives for Jon. He wonders what's inside it, but no-one can answer his question. Later in the night, he hears a disturbing crash. He discovers the contents of the package have broken out. He reaches for a kitchen knife, and discovers a Halo 3 Master Chief and Brute Chieftain Figures. He runs away, screaming, but all they wanted is food and beer.

Later, the Arbiter gets along well with the new Master Chief, named Todd, after Todd McFarlane. Todd also introduces Travis, the Brute Chieftain, who gets on with the Chief, despite Chief's complete lack of intelligence (even though Todd claimed that Travis was not so bright). Cortana meets Todd, who appear to be instantly attracted to each other, which Chief notices, and becomes angered by this.

Episode 10: "Cortana"
While the Arbiter and Travis play on Grand Theft Auto IV with Travis making a nuisance of himself repeatedly asking the Arbiter to do something other than missions, Chief makes desperate plans to break up Todd and Cortana. His first plan involves phoning the police on Jon's mobile phone. He tells them that a man five inches tall (Todd) has stolen his girlfriend. The police don't believe him however, and hang up with no warning.

Chief's second breakup attempt involves showing Cortana fake evidence of Todd cheating on her. He shows her a very poorly drawn picture of Todd and another girl. Sarcastically, Cortana comments on the authenticity of the picture, but says she can't be sure, since Todd and Chief are both Master Chief figurines. Chief comes up with one last idea: "KIL T0D".

Episode 11: "Conflict (Part 1 of 2)"
After two plots end in miserable failure to break up Todd and Cortana, he goes to Arbiter, who is playing Grand Theft Auto IV with, he soon finds out to be playing with one of Chief's friends (and an annoying gangsta wannabe kid with the gamertag "xxxSmok3w33d4lyph420xxx" and real name of Jeremy who eventually gets booted off the 360 by his dad), and tells him about how Travis (who had made a fool out of him an hour earlier) and how Todd is "pissign meh off 2". He goes very close to Arbiter and says he is "gon t33ch BOTH thoes asshoelz a les0n tehy wil NEVAR FORG3T". That night, Chief gets a kitchen knife and approaches Todd and Travis. Todd wakes up to see Chief oddly staring at him. Travis wakes up, still drunk, and totally confused. Todd questions the time and Chief simply replies, "it r tiem 2 dai, tod. tiem 2 dai." (It are time to die Todd. Time to die.), Chief then charges at Todd swinging the knife in a violent manner at him saying, "MAI ROFLKNIEF GOEZ SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL".

Episode 12: "Conflict (Part 2 of 2)"
Picking up right where part one left off, Master Chief closes in on Todd, preparing to plunge a kitchen knife into him. Without Chief's awareness, Travis tackles and pins Chief to the floor and begins battering him. Chief fakes a surrender before kicking Travis in the balls to escape and then makes a second attempt to murder Todd. The two seem evenly matched, until Chief distracts Todd by pointing behind him proclaiming, "HOLEH MUTHR OF GOD L@@K OTU ITS TEH COVERNINT", this distracts Todd making his rear face Chief. His mistake was punished by Chief and is whacked, soaring across the kitchen floor with a frying pan. He says "TEH ROFLKNIEF DEMANDZ BLOOD TOD! C? LISEN". Chief then pretends that the knife is talking by saying in a high pitch voice "BLUD PLZ, K THX LOL!" but just when Chief is about to finally eliminate Todd, the Arbiter arrives and tackles him. Cortana shows up as well and Todd informs her of what Chief just attempted to do. During this whole time, Travis is still lying on the ground writhing in pain from being kicked in the crotch by Chief. Arbiter and Cortana then drag Chief away for a talk.

Arbiter pins Chief to the wall and demands that he apologize to Todd and Travis for what he did. When he refuses, Cortana kicks him in the crotch and after an insult by the rude Chief," You could have seriously hurt someone." "Tahts teh idea u skank!" repeatedly kicks him until he gives in and agrees to apologize. They take him to Todd and Travis, but Chief merely pretended to be apologetic, saying "Tod...travis...im...sry......TAHT UR SO GHEY", which gets him dragged away again.

Later the same morning, Arbiter is playing Halo 3 online with an annoying player, who keeps "mindlessly spamming grenades into the elevator" and just got killed by the Arbiter from the rear, showing terrible aiming skills when Chief shows up and takes the controller from him. The two begin to argue about how the Chief wants the flaming helmet armor. Arbiter tells Chief he should be grateful that Bungie gave him the Recon armor to which Chief says he does not care about Recon now and only wants the flaming helmet because it is cool. After the two finish the short argument about the Halo 3 Player Model Flaming Helmet, Cortana arrives and reveals that Todd and Travis have mysteriously disappeared. The first person she blames is obviously Chief, but he denies having anything to do with it. After exchanging insults with each other, Cortana warns Chief that if he did have something to do with Todd and Travis' disappearance, he would be "Very, very sorry."

When Cortana leaves, Arbiter calmly and directly asks Chief where they are. Chief still claims that it wasn't his fault, so the Arbiter ends the episode asking him: "Well, if not you...then who?"

Episode 13: "Cold"
Jon arranges to meet someone on the phone, presumably a friend of his. He has to negotiate a place to meet on foot as he cannot find his wallet, which his driver's license is in. After he leaves, Arbiter, Cortana and Chief instantly resume their routine. As Arbiter resumes the game, Chief begins browsing Jon's wallet. Cortana takes it back from him. The following day, Arbiter discovers Chief sat outside panhandling, but failed terribly. When Arbiter asks him why he's trying to get money, Chief tells him he wants to get the Cold Storage map for Halo 3, not aware it is for free, when he is told by the Arbiter, Chief is very surprised that Bungie would distribute downloadable content for free.

The next morning, Chief discovers that the map was deleted off the hard drive. Arbiter explains it wasn't him and denies Cortana had any intent of doing so. They start to think that Todd & Travis' disappearance and the deletion of the map are linked.

Episode 14: "Wedding"
Originally the name of Episode 14 was going to be "Warped", it was changed by DigitalPh33r to "Wedding".

During a game of Grifball (which the Chief and the Arbiter hate), their friend introduces them to Gregory and Sarah, who are, for some reason, out of breath. Arbiter asks why they are out of breath and Greg responds that Grifball is his workout. Their friend then asks them to join the wedding for his two friends on Xbox live, which causes Chief to lash out and call them "fags", but Arbiter agrees to go to be polite. While Greg and Sarah are excited for their new friends to come to his own wedding, Arbiter tells Greg not to pull a muscle.

Chief becomes enraged and refuses to go and begins to leave. Arbiter stops him and asks him to go because he does not want to go alone, stating that it will be very awkward without Chief. Chief turns around and says he will go for twenty dollars but Chief unwittingly lowers the price by $10, to which the Arbiter quickly agrees to.

They both go to the wedding on a modded Foundry map, with Master Chief commonly swearing, saying it is "sum gay ass shit." A red Spartan is there, who tells them - repeatedly - to crouch. They oblige, even though this angers Chief. The white Spartan acts as a preacher and begins, after brief difficulty to play the appropriate wedding music through his headset. At this point, Arbiter begins to realize the ridiculousness of the situation and tells the Chief that he is all for online matchmaking but this is going too far. Cortana comes in the room and says "I think this is very sweet" to which the Chief says "U WUD!". The red Spartan then tells them to be quiet, to which the chief replies "NO U".

Sarah walks out to the altar, while the Chief sexually harasses her, telling her she has a "nice ass baby". The Arbiter tells Chief to shut up. The white spartan begins to read the marriage speech, during this time, Chief is looking around the room and notices many fusion coils. When the white Spartan asks if anyone objects to the wedding, Chief objects and swears angrily, picks up his sniper rifle and lands a headshot on the red Spartan. He then begins to charge his Spartan Laser, saying "IMA CHARGIN MAH LAZAAAAH!", and then yells "SHOOP DA WOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!" as it fires, destroying one fusion coil which causes a massive chain reaction, sending everyone up at the altar flying in different directions while screaming in horror. Arbiter and the Chief then quickly flee the scene with the Chief laughing hysterically. After an argument about the Chief ruining the wedding, Arbiter admits that Chief's gatecrash was funny, and after some silence, asks the Chief if he wants to do it again. The Chief replies "DAM RITE SON," and they bump fists.

Episode 15: Professional (Part 1 of 3)
Arbiter is playing Brother's In Arms: Hell's Highway when Master Chief wants him to see new gameplay footage from Halo 3: Recon (ODST). Instead, it shows the title, and then switches to the video of the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Enraged at being rickrolled, he throws the tissue box at Master Chief, who used the rickroll to distract Arbiter so he could get the Xbox. Chief then tells Arbiter he wants him to meet a friend of his. Arbiter at first hesitates due to bad memories from Chief's other friends but says OK. Chief's new friend is a MLG professional gamer called "Craig". Chief has a ton of respect for Craig because not only does he not listen to his parents but he also refuses to clean his room.

Chief and Arbiter meet Craig and his girlfriend with no personality, Krystal, get into a talk with Arbiter and Chief, and routinely whispers to his girlfriend that both the Chief and Arbiter are both losers. Master Chief continuously asks Craig if he can be in MLG but Craig keeps telling him to practice more. Chief also calls Craig cool numerous times. Arbiter begins to questions Craig's connection with MLG and Craig makes up many excuses while Chief proclaims his love for Craig. After a bit, Arbiter leaves with a positive message. After Arbiter and Chief leave, Craig tells Krystal that he once almost drank a whole can of beer.

Following that, Arbiter gets a headache from them and Chief tells him he wasn't nice to Craig. Arbiter then tells Chief that he hates Craig and that Craig reaffirms him of Chief's bad taste in friends, much to the surprise of Chief. Chief shakes this off and tells Arbiter he is jealous of Craig because he is MLG.

The very next day, Arbiter gets a Budweiser can. As he walks, he sees Chief crying. Chief tells Arbiter that Craig and his friends insulted him and made him cry. This makes Arbiter explain to Chief that perhaps he should learn to pick better friends. Then Chief reveals that they called Arbiter a "cockmongling queefburger". Arbiter drops his can of beer in both shock and anger. He then picks up Chief, which scares Chief, and says "we're going to have a little talk with Craig".

Episode 16: Face Off (Part 2 of 3)
Craig is talking to two people who have signed into MLG. They brag about "playing Halo 3 everyday and getting laid every night." Then a player comes up to them and tells them that it's okay joining MLG and he lost 20 pounds and meeting a girl. The Craig and the two guys laugh and says that the game room was for professional MLG players so they boot him out.

Arbiter joins the room and comes up to them. Arbiter asks Craig what's his problem, but he makes a comeback asking, "does he need his diaper changed?" Arbiter tells him to apologize to Chief who is still crying about Craig making fun of him. Craig then offers to apologize if Chief can beat him one-on-one. Arbiter argues, but finally accepts. Craig yells that the match will be the first ten kills on Blackout.

Chief runs to the bathroom and closes the door. Arbiter tries to motivate the Chief into playing. Arbiter offers to watch "Keys to the VIP." Chief refuses and Arbiter tells him not to worry by telling him that he's awesome at Halo. Chief asks if he wins, will he "get all the bitc3z?" Arbiter says yes and the Chief opens the bathroom door knocking the Arbiter off while rooting for himself to win Craig.

Episode 17: Showdown (Part 3 of 3)
Chief drank a lot of beer before the match as a way to calm himself down, only to be told by the Arbiter that the beer is non-alcoholic as a distraction. While Chief is checking the beer can, the Arbiter disconnects Chief's controller and plugs in his own so it will be him fighting Craig. When the match starts, Craig grabs the Energy Sword and Rocket Launcher (also Master Chief's favorite weapons as seen in Master Chief sucks at Halo). Craig then goes on to camp in one spot with the weapons and a stock pile of grenades, killing Arbiter several times. When Chief discovered Arbiter was actually playing, he ran off. Arbiter followed, leaving his controller alone. Lacking a conflict, Craig gloats to himself about how good he is, and begins masturbating. His mother walks in and catches him, and him, her, and his father have an argument, distracting Craig from the game. After the Arbiter tells Chief he has faith in him, Chief reenters the match, and easily kills Craig and wins the match, as Craig is no longer playing. While performing the final kill, Chief exclaims to the absent Craig, "MLG? I disagree!" and snipes the fusion coils next to Craig blowing him flying. Craig is then heard crying intensely to which Arbiter tells him to quit blubbering. After his victory, Chief becomes famous for beating an MLG player. The young player from the second part enters a game and finds Chief talking to Craig's ex-girlfriend Krystal and starts asking him questions on how he defeated Craig, to which Chief replies for him to leave because he is a noob and then lands a head shot on the player. It turns out that Chief has become even worse than Craig. After the young player is killed, Krystal giggles which causes Chief to stare at her for several seconds, then Chief aggressively says "Titties or GTFO!". Krystal gasps in offence and beats Chief to death, his dead body rolls down a hill as the Chief LOLs uncontrollably. At the very end, Chief appears fullscreen and "bwewrolls" anyone who watched the whole video.

This episode was briefly removed from YouTube as a result of a copyright claim by a mysterious person known as "Mohammed Pabel Miah". Apparently, according to DigitalPh33r, the episode "depicted a young man masturbating", which goes against his supposed religion, Islam. However, the situation was sorted out and the video is currently back up on YouTube.

DigitalPh33r was severely annoyed by the situation, not just because of the pulling, but because of the people spouting hate on his forums and sending hate e-mail about Mohammed. At one point he even called them "f*ckheads" because it became so annoying.

Episode 18: Glitch
The Arbiter downloads the "New Xbox Experience", and thinks he is playing the Nintendo Wii for a second. Chief walks by and says he is going to commit suicide, which the Arbiter does not realise. The Arbiter finds the Chief in the oven. Chief asks the Arbiter to turn the oven on, and Arbiter asks Chief why he is killing himself. The chief says it is too sad to tell. It turns out that he only lost his Katana, then he brings the Arbiter to Halo 3 to show him how much of a big deal is.

On Snowbound, three Spartans are inside a base. The Arbiter appears and finds out that a glitch in Halo 3 causes Security shoulders and Hayabusa Katanas to disappear, and certain achievements can't be unlocked, and also finds out that because of this, all Halo 3 games on Xbox Live are filled with rioters. An example of this is a Spartan killing another over the issue.

Meanwhile, more scenes are shown. The blue Spartan tells the Arbiter that its happening everywhere and he recently he logged onto a Forge match, where his Spartan friend killed himself and wrote a message in weapons saying "Why?"

Various other players are kill themselves, one is trampled, another is vomiting.

The video ends with "To Be Concluded".

Episode 19: Panic
On Snowbound, two players and the Arbiter are taking refuge in the underground cave, one of them explains to the Arbiter that his friend is nearly insane, he's been talking to himself. The Arbiter tells him he's a douchebag, makes fun of his gamertag (assassininja4827) and says assninja4827 and that this is only a game, and the other player takes out his pistol, and points it to the Arbiter's head. Then his friend aims at him and a red Spartan comes and also aims at him with a shotgun. Then a Warthog is seen coming by, telling the players that Bungie is fixing the problem, to which one player throws a grenade at the Warthog yelling "repent!", causing it to crash. The passenger, Bill, was thrown from the vehicle and killed, the other Bungie member grieves the loss of his fellow comrade and claimed that he always told him to wear his seatbelt but Bill never listened and now paid the price. The driver then gets thrown out of the seat, and it is then revealed that they were Bungie, and the player cuts the driver's throat with the blade of a Brute Shot, stating that the blade on the brute shot represents the his Katana blade that Bungie stole from him. Back at the underground cave, the four are still arguing, and the Arbiter tells them all that it's just a game, there's no need to worry, and to stop being so dramatic. The yellow Spartan then tells the red Spartan that the glitch has now affected him, which causes him to turn and attempt to shoot the Arbiter. Suddenly, the Chief appears, and tackles the red Spartan, claiming that it is for "Great justice". A fight ensues between everyone. The Arbiter then backs away, and then a green Spartan appears and tells them that Bungie has found a way to fix the problem, that as long as you have all 49 achievements, you'll be okay, and the fight stops, and the green Spartan the proceeds to tell everyone about news. 2 players then proceed to play a game together, and the yellow Spartan (the one the Arbiter was taunting) asks the Chief if he wants to play, to which the Chief says that he can't hes gonna go get some achievements. "assasinninja" turns and calls the Arbiter an asshole, then says that he has to go. The Arbiter asks if he's late for a prostate exam, to which assasinninja replies "fuck you!". Finally the Arbiter goes away, saying he's going to get a beer, and the Chief says: "TO THEETR MOED" (to theater mode) and then says that a picture is going on his Myspace. After the credits, the Arbiter is seen telling the viewer that rushing to make an account with the gamertag "assasinninja4827, assninja4827, or some variation" is stupid, and that no one will be impressed. He then proceeds to say "owned."

Episode 20: Cheater
The Arbiter comes into the living room to find Chief watching Halo 3 game strategy videos on the Xbox Dashboard, claiming he's "SIK OF FGTS KILIGN MEH IN HALO". the videos are made by an idiot named Josh Butterballs who calls the game Halo 3 Combat Evolved. Josh then proceeds to play the game, sucking as he goes, incorrectly coining weapons and other Xbox related things such as achievements, all the while saying tips to be written down and used. A while later, Chief complains to Arbiter that he still sucks after writing down the tips from the video, to which Arbiter is glad Chief acknowledges his low skill level at Halo. Chief asks Arbiter for help, to which Arbiter declines, calling Chief a "lost cause". Chief then despondently walks through Blackout, when a mysterious person lures him into the room, claiming to have overheard Chief and Arbiter's conversation, and offers him cheats, and Chief immediately shuns him. When the hacker begins to walk out of the room, Chief turns around and takes the offer. The scene cuts to Valhalla, where Arbiter runs to the open area, to see everyone else just standing around. He rushes over and asks what's going on, and they explain that somebody used hacks to bolt around and get to the top of the tower. The two Spartans are then sniped by an auto-lock hack. Chief laughs at himself being able to kill people with the pull of a trigger. Arbiter comes up behind the tower and warns Chief that hacking will get the account, which both of them use, banned, but Chief blows him off and turns around. A Bungie representative appears behind Chief and knocks him off the tower. He then pulls out the banhammer and screams at Chief. The Bungie rep calmly explains to Arbiter that Chief lit up on the anti-cheat like a Christmas tree. He then proceeds to scream at the Chief, "So, what do you have to say for yourself? Huh? HUH?! HOW LONG DID YOU THINK YOUR LITTLE CHEATING SPREE WAS GOING TO LAST YOU LITTLE BITCH?!?!" Chief begs the rep to spare him. Arbiter asks if the gravity hammer he has is the fabled banhammer. The rep responds with "In all its glory." Arbiter explains that the gamertag is used by the both of them, asking the rep if he could somehow punish Chief and only Chief. The rep decides not to ban him, but to do the next worse thing: take Chief's Recon armor permutation. Arbiter explains that Chief deserved having his Recon taken away, and that Chief was a "fucking idiot" for cheating and that they were lucky to not be banned. Chief then turns on another Halo strategy video yet again by Butterballs, who says that shooting an enemy with the "rocket gun" will make him explode like a Flood Carrier Form, laughing hysterically at the joke and rationalizing it to death. Chief makes one final "lol" at the joke before the credits end.

Episode 21: Company, Pt. 1
The Arbiter is watching a extremely basic Halo 3 machinima called 'The Adventures of Frank and Joe'. The two of them say extremely obvious and babyish stuff which disgusts the Arbiter and make him almost slice his wrist with a knife. The chief soon rushes in and and tells the Arbiter that how kids make crappy machinima which the Arbiter turns to the screen and sees an elite killing Frank and Joe and saying 'Double Kill' and then teabagging them. The Chief then suggests that the two of them create their own machinima. The Arbiter first thinks that is a lame idea but finally agrees on it. The two of them then set of to work but has not come up with any ideas yet. The Arbiter then tells the Chief to remove his tie because it makes him look retarded. The chief then says that he is a president of a company and says that he needs to look like a business man. The Arbiter then says that there is no one else around and that it isn't a real company which angers the Chief and tells him to return to thinking of some ideas. He says that he has done a lot of work in which he only drew a giant dong on the whiteboard with a baby penis on board. Seven weeks later he finally wrote down the script which has 5000 characters but he has only hired 3 kids to act it out. The kids whine about and the Chief explains that the filming should be closed in 2 months. The kids then complains that they want to be paid. The Chief then wonders what do they want. The Arbiter tells him that they want money so the Chief tells him to fetch Jon's wallet for cash. Soon a Spartan who would be in the film decides to leave which the Chief replies 'FINE'. Then he turns back to the rest of the small crowd and says that the 3 of them do it and it ends with a TO BE CONTINUED.

Episode 22: Party
The Arbiter wakes up on the couch with a hangover. He is unaware of last night's events, and makes a "lame-ass Halo pun" (his head feels like it "was hit by a Warthog") and figures he is messed up. He first looks towards the beer cans, saying he doesn't like beer. As he holds it, a flashback (in annotation form) is triggered...

Flashback A: Night Of The First Day

The Master Chief walks up to Arbiter, who is downloading the Mythic Map Pack. The Arbiter expresses interest in Orbital and Sandbox but turns away Assembly saying it's "like a less sucky Midship". Chief suggests they "GIT THEIR DRINKS ON" because Jon bought an "assload" of beer. After pressuring on Arbiter, he agrees.

Arbiter drops the empty beer can and walks over to the modem. He pulls a large cable that looks like multiple USB cables tied together with duct tape out of the modem, triggering another annotation flashback...

Flashback B: Night Of The First Day, 18 Hours After Release

A drunken Arbiter and Chief are on the couch, complaining about the slow Internet connection, which is like "a slow turtle... that's dead. From... turtle cancer..." which the two laugh about. Chief eventually gets the idea to turn three USB cables into a single mega-cable to let the "internet fit through it better". Arbiter expresses worry, and Chief cuts it and duct tapes it. He then solders the mega-cable in the toaster. Chief suggest whiskey while they wait for it to solder.

Arbiter drops the USB cable, and walks over to a pile of whiskey bottles. As this triggers another flashback, Arby comments, "This just keeps getting better and better"...

Flashback C: Night of the First Day, 19 Hours After Release

Arbiter and Chief comment that apparently, the "super internet cable" actually worked. However, Chief gets an idea to super-charge the modem. He asks Arbiter to get AA batteries while he gets some copper wire. Chief promptly tapes the batteries together with tape and wire, which is attached to a plug plugged into the wall. Arbiter again expresses worry about plugging two appliances into one outlet, and the supercharging also works. They then play on Sandbox, with Chief guiding the Monitor into one of the flaming balls keeping players from exiting the map. They laugh heavily at this, and Chief does it again. Eventually, Chief gets another idea...

Arbiter next walks into the kitchen. After climbing on top of the counter, he looks at a pile of papers with Lucky Charm marshmallows, triggering another flashback...

Flashback D: Night Of The First Day, 20 Hours After Release

Chief, now heavily drunk, gets the idea to attempt to smoke cereal. After wrapping it up, he says he need to "asplode" the cereal and asks for Jon's shoe, which he promptly beats the "joint" with. Chief then lights it, and fakes being high. Arbiter walks over to the couch, and passes out, faceplanting on the couch, only a second before the modem saps all power from the house, with Chief commenting that the house just exploded.

Arbiter eventually finds out where Chief is, and goes towards the bathroom, calling out Chief's name. Apparently Chief went swimming in the toilet. Arbiter says Chief should have went in the bath, considering the large turd in the toilet.

Jon said that he released Party because Machinima tasked him with making a video that used YouTube's annotation feature.

Episode 23: Company, Pt. 2
The Arbiter is playing Halo, but then Chief calls him to work on the machinima production. The Master Chief then faxes over a nondisclosure agreement for the Arbiter to sign, much to his chagrin. After he refuses to sign it, Chief faxes another paper over saying if he doesn't sign the nondisclosure agreement he will be subject to federal action. With that, the Arbiter furiously enters the Chief's room and notes that the Chief, still wearing his tie, is not doing anything. The Master Chief responds that he is doing the paperwork, but then the Arbiter tells him that the papers that he has in front of him are all in fact blank. The Arbiter then tells him that the Chief bloated the machinima project out of all proportion, "taking all the humanity" out of a fun pastime and filling it with legal jargon. Then he proceds to resign with the famous quote "you can also give this a little tug while you're at it," at the same time patting his groin, and exiting. The Master Chief finds his actors on XBox Live, who quits because the Arbiter told them about the Chief's extremely obnoxious ways, and then they also tell him to read the forms which the Arbiter gave to him. They are signed in succession, "FUCK" and then "YOU." The Master Chief responds with a "that son of a bitch."

Background
On May 25th, 2008, Arby 'n' the Chief: The Movie, premiered at the machinima event CanWest 08 (to which the movie was created for) and was published on YouTube the same day. The movie seems to take place in between the plot line of Episode 10 and 11, and features all of the characters of the series, and it's the first time any character has ventured out of Jon's apartment.

Production
DigitalPh33r is famous for being a solo machinima producer, but for the Movie, his friend Daniel Lazslo, aka D Laz, assisted him in the production of the film, most notably with visual effects.

Filming
The Movie was the first Master Chief Sucks at Halo/Arby 'n' the Chief production to go outside of Jon Graham's apartment. Filming took place in three different cities: Vancouver (Jon Graham's old residence), Chilliwack (another Canadian City), and Los Angeles (Where Jon Graham visited to work at the Machinima.com HQ for several days).

Plot Summary
In the beginning, Master Chief forces the Arbiter, Cortana, Todd and Travis to play along with a horrible game of "pretend" with Chief (Todd's lines are a crude drawing of a penis). As the others leave, the Arbiter approaches Chief and consoles him by telling him it was very "Imaginative". While watching machinima videos online, the Chief begins to insult DigitalPh33r, saying that his videos are shitty and repetitive. Arbiter tells him to make a machinima of his own, but says that if it's bad then he has to be nice for a day. The Chief retorts by saying that if the machinima is good, then the Arbiter, Todd, Travis and Cortana have to "shut up" for a day. Several weeks later, with the help of the Chief's online friends, his machinima is complete. It is very badly done, with a 3-hour long length, bad acting, over-the-top character actions, and a terrible plot. Everyone hates it, though Arbiter and Todd attempt to sugar-coat their criticism. Angry, the Chief says that he has uploaded it to the internet and that the result of the bet should depend on the online reaction (which is Chief standing at the computer for a day and continually hitting F5).

Chief's video attracts the attention of the eccentric machinima director Skyler Loveheart, the head of "Douchebag Studios". Loveheart mistakenly labels the movie as a parody of bad machinima, and so thinks that the video is a work of genius. He contacts the Chief and tells him that Douchebag Studios could use Chief's talents, and that they want him to come down to Los Angeles to create a serious machinima under their new contract. The Chief happily accepts and tells the Arbiter and Todd that he "doesn't have to live with [those] douchebags anymore." To everyone's delight except the Arbiter, the Chief leaves and heads to LA.

In Los Angeles, the Chief is greeted by Loveheart. The Chief asks to use Loveheart's phone, which he uses to call the Arbiter. He begins to brag to and insult the Arbiter, who angrily throws the phone out the window. The Chief then makes an online video, in which he boasts about his machinima talents. The video annoys the Arbiter, who "can't think of anyone with an ego that massive." Travis tells the Arbiter to let it go, and that they should be celebrating. The Arbiter half-heartedly agrees.

Nearly 2 months later, Chief's "serious" machinima is complete, titled "TEH EPIK BATEL". Loveheart, seeing the video and how bad it is, realises that the Chief isn't satirising bad machinima, but is simply bad himself. Loveheart furiously tells the Chief that he had invested a lot of money in him, and, pulling a pistol from his pocket, attempts to shoot him. Luckily, Loveheart's hyperactivity causes him to aim erratically, and so every shot misses, even hitting himself in the knee with one of the shots. The Chief steals Loveheart's car and escapes, heading back home. Loveheart commits suicide.

Back at Jon's apartment, Travis and the Arbiter are playing Halo 3. Losing, the Arbiter forfeits, saying he's not in the mood. The Chief arrives, and is greeted coldly by the Arbiter, who the Chief mostly ignores. He goes on to enthusiastically greet Todd, Travis and Cortana, who don't reply. The Arbiter tells him that he has quite a nerve coming back after the way he behaved, and that he should go. Chief, upset, cuts power to the apartment and leaves, going to the road and attempting suicide by throwing himself in front of a car. Arbiter, who followed, begs the Chief to get up, saying that he needs him in his life and that he even loves him. He turns away, until the Chief gets up, saying "that's seriously the gayest shit I've ever heard." He recalls when he tried to commit suicide in Master Chief Sucks At Halo 2, and comes to the conclusion that he can't die. He asks for a hug, which the Arbiter gives, not realising the Chief has stuck another insulting sign on his back ("IM GAY").

Later, Todd, Travis and Cortana are having a discussion on Master Chief's destiny (whether he'd go to heaven or hell). Just then, a large Master Chief helmet appears around the corner of the hallway, frightening everyone, especially Todd who screams effeminately at the top of his lungs and runs away when he sees it. However it turns out to be a prank by the Chief, who laughs as the movie ends.

Trivia

 * The first figures used Arbiter and Master Chief are from Halo 2, but Cortana, Todd and Travis are Halo 3 Action Figures.
 * Though distributed by http://www.Machinima.com, the series is technically not a machinima, with the majority of each episode filmed live-action and video games simply being a plot device.
 * In episode 7, after Chief puts the sign on Arbiter's back, it is not seen again until the end, when Arbiter finds it.
 * In Episode 19 "Panic" of Season 3, Cheif is heard saying a refercence to both Halo 3 and 300. Rigth after he attacks the corrupt red Spartan for almost shooting Arbiter, he begins to say nonsense until the end where he says "For Sparta"

Internal Links

 * DigitalPh33r
 * Machinima