User:Guesty-Persony-Thingy/Satire

Guesty-Persony-Thingy (G): ...Which means that any user of sufficient intelligence and cognitive ability is a potential vector. Is something wrong? CaptainAdamGraves (CAG): No, nothing. G: Splendid. Shall we? CAG and G walk up to the main panel G:  ...Unfortunately, my usefulness to this particular endeavor has come to an end. Protocol does not allow units with my classification to... perform a task as important as the reunification of the award with me. That final step is reserved for you, Reclaimer. ''CAG takes the award, and puts it into a hole in the console. Lights and holograms appear, and then fade'' G: Odd, that wasn't supposed to happen. Relentless suddenly appears over the console RelentlessRecusant: Oh really!? There is a flash of light, and G is thrown back, and down to the ground CAG: Relentless? RR: I've spent the last 12 hours cooped up in here, watching you toady about, helping that thing get set to slit our throats! CAG: Hold on now, he's a friend. RR: Oh? I didn't realize. He's your pal, is he? Your chum? Do you have any idea what that bastard almost made you do!? CAG: Yes.... Activate Halopedia's defenses, and block the vandals, which is why we brought the award to the Gravy Hammer!!!. RR: You mean this? Award appears in RR's hand G: A person!? With more awards than me!? That is absolutely unnacceptable! RelentlessRecusant: Sod off! G: What impertinence! I shall purge you at once! RR: You sure that's a good idea? RR teleports the award away G: How, how... How dare you! I'll-- RR: Do what? I have the award! You can just sit and sputter! CAG: Enough! The vandals are spreading. If we activate Halopedia's defenses, we can wipe them out. RR: You have no idea how this site works, do you? Why the admins built it? Halopedia doesn't block vandals, it blocks the vandal fighters. Admins, devoted users, whatever. We're all equally blockable. The only way to stop the vandals is to destroy those they torment. And that's exactly what Halopedia is designed to do; wipe the galaxy clean of all those who fight against vandals. You don't believe me? Ask ' him. CAG turns to G GAC: Is this true? G: pauses More or less. Technically, this site's blockage has a maximum effective block time of twenty-five thousand years. But, once the others follow suit, this fanbase will be quite devoid of vandal fighters, or at least any with sufficient intelligence to be bothered by the vandals. pause But you already knew that. I mean, how couldn't you? RR: Left out that little detail, did he? G: We have followed vandal containment procedure to the letter. You were with me each step of the way, as we managed this crisis. RR: Helen, I'm picking up movement! G: Why would you hesitate to do what you have already done? RR: We need to go, right now. sentinels float up behind G G: Last time, you asked me, if it was my choice, would I do it? Having considerable time to ponder your query, my answer has not changed. CAG takes RR's disk out of the console, and inserts it into his head. RR: whispers in CAG's head Get us out of here! G: If you are unwilling to help, I will simply find another. Still, I must have the award. Give your person to me, or I will be forced to take him from you. CAG: That's not going to happen. G: So be it. Save his head. Dispose of the rest. G teleports away, and his Sentinels attack