Arby 'n' the Chief

Arby 'n' the Chief is a machinima internet video series created by DigitalPh33r about the lives of figurine versions of John-117 and the Arbiter. It's mainly based around the two playing Halo 3 and other games, while pulling off shenanigans.

Background
Arby 'n' the Chief is about two Halo 2-era Action Figures, of the Master Chief and the Arbiter and live in their owner's house, of Jon Graham. When Jon is at home, the figures stay put and don't move, like they should. Though whenever he leaves, they start moving around, playing games, and pulling off shenanigans.

Usually, they play Halo 3 on Xbox Live most of the time. Though they do enjoy playing other games such as Grand Theft Auto IV and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. Once during the series Chief even played Devil May Cry 4.

Characters
Master Chief: The Master Chief is a foul mouthed, immature and illiterate sexist who loves to trash talk other people, including his own "friends" and on Xbox Live. He is most commonly seen talking in "Leet Speak", which consists of shortened words, usually with numbers in them as well. Other than the Halo games and GTA IV, he despises any other game, especially Call of Duty 4, to which he jokingly renamed "Cock of Doody 4". He's seems to have feelings for Cortana, and open expresses them out in the open to the Arbiter. Digital Ph33r used Microsoft Sam to voice Master Chief.

Arbiter: The Arbiter is a nice, intelligent, character who, apart from the Chief's friends on Xbox Live, is Master Chief's only friend. When it comes to playing Halo, or any other game for that matter, the Arbiter is extremely good at them, as opposed to the Chief, who is extremely bad. Digital Ph33r said in one of director commentary episodes stated that he modeled the Arbiter after himself. It was hinted in some way at the end of the episode "Girls" that the Arbiter too may be attracted to Cortana (But not as much as Master Chief). He was Voiced by Microsoft Mike.

Cortana: Cortana was first introduced at the very end of the episode "Girls". She is, like the Arbiter and Todd, smart. She is Todd's girlfriend and the love interest of Master Chief and possibly the Arbiter. She is kind to the Arbiter and of course Todd but because of Master Chief's sexist attitude and his attempts to break Todd and her up, she resents him.

Todd: Todd is smart, kind, and somewhat cowardly. He is Cortana's boyfriend. He and Travis were introduced in the middle of the episode "Newcomers". Not much can be said about him since he hardly had any parts in the series and mysteriously disappeared at the end of the episode "Conflict (Part 2 of 2)". He is another Master Chief figure and was voiced by Digital Ph33r. As said before he is not very brave, as one time Master Chief held up a Legendary Edition Master Chief helmet and he ran away screaming for help.

Travis: Travis is much like the Chief. They are both unintelligent and enjoy doing simply stupid things. Travis is a Brute Chieftan figure who was introduced in the middle of the episode "Newcomers" along with Todd. He is into adult pleasures; for example as soon as Cortana and the Arbiter meet him he asked if they had any beer. Also while he was on the internet with Master Chief looking at Lolcats he asked if they had any porn on the computer. He mysteriously disappeared at the end of "Conflict (part 2 of 2)" along with Todd.

Plot Summary
Jon's Halo 2 Master Chief Action Figure comes to life, and begins playing the Halo 3 Beta. He plays extremely badly throughout the games he plays, in slight partial to the lack of knowledge of new features of Halo 3, but mainly because of his total lack of gameplay ability.

Eventually, we find him asking The Arbiter to play Halo 3 Beta with him on MSN. However, it has been canceled, so Chief tries to drown himself. When it fails, he decides to play Halo 2 on Xbox Live, and gets booted for offensive behavior. Afterward, he decides to check out Bungie.net for updates on Halo 3, and discovers the game's release date has been announced for Tuesday 25th September 2007.

In the final episode we find him under the Legendary Halo 3 Edition Helmet. He then comments on how a man on the internet lied to him by telling him that "wearing this helmet does not make you pleh better". He proceeds to play Halo 3. After a bad display of gameplay, he takes a Sniper Rifle, and gets a head shot while jumping. He thinks he has become the best Halo 3 player in the world, and decides to make a Halo 3 Montage. After 7 weeks, assisted by the Arbiter, he finally completes his "masterpiece".

Episode 1: "Pilot"
Master Chief has a dream that he saves the day and wins a Halo 3 online match, and is awarded by Bungie staff. He gets a rude awakening when the buzzing phone rings about a package for Jon. Master Chief states that he is Jon and receives the package from the delivery man (Played by Jon Graham). Master Chief ponders what the contents are and soon he cowers before the contained Arbiter, who was bought in an E-bay auction.

Whilst playing Halo 3 Matchmaking, the Arbiter breaks out of his packaging and overpowers a kitchen knife wielding Chief. The Arbiter demonstrates superior intelligence and greater gaming skills than that of the Chief. The two have multiple arguments, particularly on subjects such as the Arbiter's opinion on the Heroic Map Pack. Chief takes everything the Arbiter says and turns it into a sexual joke, before hitting him over the head with Jon's saucepan.

Episode 2: "Recon"
Chief recalls the argument in episode one, after noticing that Bungie has posted a sarcastic link to the video on their home page. Chief fails to spot this sarcasm, and the Arbiter tells him he should stop being an idiot and read a book (or something).

Chief has a secret plan to get the Recon Armour Permutation from Bungie Studios. He agrees to show the Arbiter, who is impressed by it's complexity, but the requirements "are somewhat, out of reach". As the Chief cries, Arbiter comforts him, and tells him to write an email to Bungie. However, all he writes is 'can i has recon plz?', so the Arbiter agrees to write it instead.

Episode 3: "Attitude"
Amazingly, Chief received the Recon Armour Permutation. But his attitude has turned rotten and he brags on about it to players across Halo 3 Matchmaking for hours at a time. The Arbiter tries to tell him that no-one cares, but he gets un-necessarily angry at the Arbiter, throwing the controller at him.

He finds the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare game, takes it into the bathroom, snaps the game disc and tries to flush all the contents down the toilet, with obvious failure. He tries to fool the Arbiter with a poorly drawn case containing a cookie with a hole in the middle. The Arbiter has to buy a replacement copy, and forces the Chief to unclog the toilet as consequence of his aggression.

Episode 4: "Melee"
The Arbiter is building levels in the Forge mode of Halo 3, whilst Chief pretends to be drunk on bottled water. The Arbiter challenges him to a one-on-one game. The two fight, but due to the melee system, the Arbiter gets a kill that should have been the Chief's.

Chief almost sends a very angry email to Bungie, blaming them for making a poor melee system, which causes his rank to go down. The Arbiter convinces him not to, and tells him to chill out. He then asks Chief why he even cares about his rank, since he is so bad at the game anyway.

Episode 5: "Martyrdom"
After Chief gets angry at the lag on Halo 3 matchmaking (because he is trying to download 714GB of porn), he tries playing Devil May Cry 4. This shocks the Arbiter, since Chief only plays Halo 3, and he hates any other game. Chief soon gets frustrated at this game as well (because he can't defeat Berial, the second boss), so the Arbiter decides he wants to play Call of Duty 4. He cancels Chief's download, which makes him mad.

To cheer Chief up, Arbiter offers him a go on Call of Duty 4. Chief tries making his own class, but wants to know what 'Martyrdom' is. The Arbiter explains that it is a poor game mechanic which he does not like, because everyone uses it. Chief activates it anyway. He starts the match, and unsurprisingly, is incredibly bad. The Chief fired at random and tried grenade spamming. Although another player killed him the screen clearly indicated that the chief killed about 6 people with Martyrdom. Arbiter gives him the instructions to read, but Chief ignores it, and restarts his download, so the Arbiter throws a box at him.

Episode 6: "Brawl"
Chief is trying to reach an Easter egg in Halo 3, with some help from the Arbiter. The Arbiter quits, though, after Chief shoots him with a rocket. Chief gives the Arbiter a hug to say sorry. The Arbiter is proud of his affection, but really he has used it as an opportunity to stick a sign reading 'IM STUPED' on the Arbiter's back.

The Arbiter begins to play Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and the Chief wants to join in. He picks Samus, since 'he' has guns and a suit like the Master Chief, but is shocked to learn the Samus is, in fact, female. The Arbiter starts a one-on-one match, but Chief, being as bad as he is, quits after losing one round. Instead, he goes and watches his "sexay pr0nz" on the Internet. The Arbiter finds out about the message taped to his back, and Chief repeats the phrase "SOI SOI SOI SOI" over and over again.

Episode 7: "Girls"
Chief begins to harass female players on Halo 3 matchmaking, one in particular who wears pink armor. His methods of "pickign up hawt chixxx" disgusts the Arbiter, who decides that he'll teach him how to appropriately behave around girls.

After harsh teaching from Arbiter, Chief confronts the female player he has been chasing, and apologizes for his disgraceful behavior towards her, and lets her go. Just after, Chief and the Arbiter discover Jon had just bought a Cortana Action Figure, who Chief falls in love with, but when talking to her, he shows a complete change back to his original attitude.

Episode 8: "Legendary"
The Arbiter has downloaded the Legendary Map Pack, which he enjoys much more than the Heroic Map Pack. He comments on how good the visual filters are, but when Chief tells him to turn them all on, he says that that would be a poor idea for gameplay, and repeatedly asks Chief who would do such a thing (implying that Chief is that idiot).

Ten minutes later, Chief has created his own map, with all the visual filters on. He invites his friends to try out his map. He also shows the map to the Arbiter, but demonstrates a lack of creativity because he has placed every certain type object in one spot, put all the spawn points in one spot, and has made weapons, vehicles and equipment inaccessible. He believes that a map's "c00ln3ss" is measured by the amount of Forge budget money you spend on it, and therefore has spent the entire Forge budget on the map. Both Arbiter and Cortana agreed that Chief's map is "The worst piece of shit map I've ever seen in my life", with a very offensive reply from Chief. Cortana hits Chief with Jon's saucepan, and the Arbiter gives her a high five.

Episode 9: "Newcomers"
While Arbiter is playing Halo 3 Matchmaking with some extremely serious players, Chief is bashing the new Grand Theft Auto 4 on the internet, before noticing another package arrives for Jon. He wonders what's inside it, but no-one can answer his question. Later in the night, he hears crashing. He discovers the contents of the package have broke out. He reaches for a kitchen knife, and discovers a Halo 3 Master Chief and Brute Chieftain Figures. He runs away, screaming, but all they want is food (and beer).

Later, the Arbiter gets along well with the newer Master Chief, named Todd, after Todd McFarlane. Todd also introduces Travis, the Brute Chieftain, who gets on well Chief, despite Chief's complete lack of intelligence. Cortana meets Todd, who seem to be instantly attracted to each other, which Chief notices, and becomes enraged by this.

Episode 10: "Cortana"
While the Arbiter and Travis play on Grand Theft Auto IV, Chief makes desperate plans to break up Todd and Cortana. His first plan involves phoning the police on Jon's mobile phone. He tells them that a man five inches tall (Todd) has stolen his girlfriend. The police don't believe him, however, and they hang up.

Chief's second breakup attempt involves showing Cortana fake evidence of Todd cheating on her. He shows her a very poorly drawn picture of Cortana and Todd. Sarcastically, Cortana comments on the authenticity of the picture, but says she can't be sure, since Todd and Chief are both Master Chief figures. Chief comes up with one last idea: "KIL T0D".

Episode 11: "Conflict (Part 1 of 2)"
After failing 2 of his plots to break up Todd and Cortana, he goes to Arbiter, who is playing Grand Theft Auto IV with friends (and an annoying gangsta wannabe kid with the gamertag "xxxSmok3w33d4lyph420xxx" and real name of Jeremy who eventually gets booted off the 360 by his dad), and tells him about how Travis (who had made a fool out of him an hour earlier) and how Todd is "pissign meh off 2". He goes very close to Arbiter and says he is "gon t33ch BOTH thoes asshoelz a les0n tehy wil NEVAR FORG3T". That night, Chief gets a kitchen knife and approaches Todd and Travis. Todd wakes up to see Chief oddly staring at him. Travis wakes up, still drunk, totally confused. Todd questions the time and Chief simply replies, "it r tiem 2 dai, tod. tiem 2 dai." (It are time to die Todd. Time to die), Chief then charges at Todd swinging the knife in a violent manor at him.

Episode 12: "Conflict (Part 2 of 2)"
Picking up right where part one left off, Master Chief closes in on Todd, ready to kill him. Suddenly, Travis tackles and pins Chief to the floor and batters him. Chief fakes a surrender and kicks Travis in the crotch to escape and then goes after Todd again. The two seem evenly matched, until Chief whacks Todd across the kitchen with a frying pan. Just when Chief is about to kill Todd, the Arbiter arrives and tackles him. Cortana shows up as well and Todd informs her of what Chief just attempted to do. During this whole time, Travis is still lying on the ground writhing in pain from being kicked in the crotch by Chief. Arbiter and Cortana then drag Chief away for a talk.

Arbiter pins Chief to the wall and demands that he apologize to Todd and Travis for what he did. When he refuses, Cortana kicks him in the crotch and then repeatedly kicks him until he gives in and agrees to apologize. They take him to Todd and Travis, but Chief doesn't apologize, and instead calls them gay, which gets him dragged away again.

Later the same morning, Arbiter is playing Halo 3 online with an annoying player, until Chief shows up and takes the controller from him. After the two finish a short argument about the Halo 3 Player Model Flaming Helmet (Which is an exclusive armor feature for Bungie employees only. Recon is specially awarded, but the Flaming Helmet is not), Cortana arrives and reveals that Todd and Travis have mysteriously disappeared. The first person she blames is obviously Chief, but he denies having anything to do with it. After exchanging insults with each other, Cortana warns Chief that if he did have something to do with Todd and Travis' disappearance, he would be "VERY, VERY SORRY."

When Cortana leaves, Arbiter calmly and directly asks Chief where they are. Chief still claims that it wasn't his fault, so the Arbiter ends the episode asking him: "Well, if not you...then who?"

Episode 13: "Cold"
Jon arranges to meet someone on the phone, presumably a friend of his. He has to negotiate a place to meet on foot as he cannot find his wallet, which his driving license is in. After he leaves, Arbiter, Cortana and Chief instantly resume their routine. As Arbiter resumes to game, Chief begins browsing Jon's Wallet. Cortana takes it back from him. The following day, Arbiter discovers Chief sat outside begging for change, but failed terribly. When Arbiter asks him why he's trying to get money, Chief tells him he wants to get the Cold Storage map for Halo 3, not aware it is for free (To which Chief is very surprised that Bungie would distribute downloadable content for free).

The next morning, Chief discovers that the Map was deleted off the Hard Drive. Arbiter explains it wasn't him and denies Cortana had any intent of doing so. They start to think that Todd & Travis' disappearance and the deletion of the map are linked.

Episode 14: "Wedding"
Originally the name of Episode 13 was going to be "Warped", it was changed by DigitalPh33r to "Cold". Also very recently it was changed again to "Wedding".

During a game of Xbox Live Grifball (which Master Chief and the Arbiter hate), three people come up and invite them to a Halo 3 wedding. Master Chief hates it, but Arbiter accepts. They both go to the wedding on a modded Foundry map, with Master Chief commonly swearing (and at one point saying an offensive comment, to which the Arbiter quickly silenced). During the ceremony, Arbiter agrees with the Chief that the wedding is taking it too far from people meeting online. When the "speak now" part came up, Master Chief lands a headshot on a spectator and then Spartan Lasers the fusion coils in the arena, killing everyone. Arbiter and Chief flee the scene. After an argument, Arbiter admits that Cheif's gatecrash was funny, and asks the Chief if he wants to do it again, to which he replies: "DAYUM RITE SOOON!".

Background
On May 25th, 2008, Arby 'n' the Chief: The Movie, premiered at the machinima event CanWest 08 (to which the movie was created for) and was published on YouTube the same day. The movie seems to take place in between the plot line of Episode 10 and 11, and features all of the characters of the series, and it's first time any character has ventured out of Jon's apartment.

Plot Summary
Chief makes a bet with Arbiter that Chief cannot make a good machinima. If Chief wins, everyone has to shut up for a day. If Chief loses, then he must be nice for an entire day. After making said crappy machinima, which is hated by everyone (Travis shows it while Cortana, Arbiter, and Todd keep his spirits up), Master Chief attempts to win by posting his machinima on YouTube and pressing and holding the Refresh key for seven hours. Chief is soon later picked up by a un-experienced movie producer in Los Angeles, California.

He keeps insulting everyone back in Canada, and after making yet another crappy machinima, the producer attempts to kill him. Chief escapes in the producer's car, and the producer kills himself with his pistol. The car's gas runs out and eventually Chief gets up the nerve to walk over to Jon's house in BC, where Arbiter says Chief has a lot of nerve showing his face after what he did in LA. Chief then attempts kills himself by running in front of a car. Arbiter reveals profound feeling for Chief, who wasn't really dead, referring to the other machinima by Digital Ph33R, Master Chief Sucks at Halo 2, where Chief attempted to kill himself yet failed. After an embrace, Chief puts a sign on Arbiter's back and everything returns to normal.

Famous Quotes

 * lolololololol
 * nom nom nom
 * c**k of doody 4: modirn gayf**kstupid
 * My ROFLknife goes Sliec Sliec Sliec Sliec
 * LOLWTFBBQ
 * OWWW u bich

Related Links

 * Machinima.com's page on ''Arby 'n' the Chief
 *